#QOTD #31

There is one element of  any relationship, that’s importance is often overlooked: That element being Communication.

Many of us don’t see the importance or relevance of communication; stating our intention, saying what we feel, checking in with a loved one or giving a heads up to our significant other when we can’t make that normal routine dinner, chat, movie etc.

A little bit of communication goes such a long way. 

Today’s quote is based on this concept:

Tony Gaskin beautifully said:

Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Don’t suffocate your relationship by not communicating.

See how important it is? 

To those of you who really feel like: 

“if I don’t call or Text or make time to see you, I have a very good reason and I expect you to understand.”

Here’s what I have to say to you:

We, are not. mind readers!

Don’t have such great expectations because I can guarantee that half of the time you’re going to be disappointed.

I am a very literal person, I don’t like to assume and so sometimes those around me get bugged because I will ask THE most literal of questions just to ensure that I have all the facts before I comment or say what or how I feel. I learnt to be this way because in my previous relationships, communication was blatantly overlooked. It was selective and conditional. It was for this reason that through my self reflection journey,  I made a promise to myself that any relationship that may come after, be it a friendship, courtship or marriage, communication will not be conditional or inconsistent and that I will ensure that I hold up to my end. All in the name of growing and learning from past mistakes.

I see all kinds relationships fail daily because of a lack of communication. Because one feels “oh why bother” 

Dearest one, never have that attitude! If you’re in a any relationship you have a right to be heard, for your feelings to be respected, and for your views to be considered. If you don’t, I can almost guarantee you will fester feelings of resentment and negativity. But who would you possibly blame for that? If you are not telling somebody how you feel about certain things, how are they going to know it makes you feel a certain way? 

What I’ve learnt though, is the ones who feel “why bother” often say that because they don’t want to be wrong or to take accountability for their part. Yes, I said it. I’ve witnessed it. It becomes too much for them to bare that there are things they can improve on and they almost feel like they have so much going on, how are they supposed to fix this as well. Often they’re going through other things in their lives and it all becomes too much.

All I can say is that it is a beautiful thing when you overcome an issue through communicating. It’s so fulfilling.

I think it is the peak of respect for a relationship and a person when you two have a safe space created with each other, by each other and for each other where you can state your inner most feelings towards certain things and work towards it. 

Is it always easy? Hell no! Nothing that’s ever good for you comes easy. If anything, it’s easier to just say “forget about it” well let me just say, I’m not about that forgetting life. It’s damn hard work. You sometimes end up sounding like a scratched record, and feel like you’re fighting a losing battle but trust me, with the good intention of your relationship, it will soon pay off. Especially if both persons are that much dedicated to making that friendship, relationship, marriage or family tie last. 

Communication is a fundamental building block in the foundation of any relationship. Do not take its essence for granted. 

May we all strive to communicate better ❤️

Some insight, from just an ordinary girl