Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal, travel

I’m going to Brazil 🇧🇷😀

I began writing this post Thursday Evening, after I won my annual star award. I finally have a moment to post it. If you remember, I posted my thoughts and emotions after I had won a quarterly star award. If you missed that post, click here.

After I had won my annual star award. I began to reflect and all thoughts lead to this post. For those who don’t know, a star award is part of a recognition programme to acknowledge staff within the business for the work that they do. It is the most prestigious award that one could win, within the Discovery organisation…i know right?!

With that said, here it goes 🤗

The wind down

Driving back to the hotel and my mind is on the phenomenal company I work for, the people who have impacted my journey and it’s honestly trying to comprehend that next year, I (an ordinary from Newlands East) will be going to THE Brazil.

I was so emotional, as was I when I found out that l had won a quarterly award. I kept replaying the moment I heard my name being announced and the phenomenal love and celebration I received from people I’d never have known, if it weren’t for this opportunity, my family and my friends. It’s been a remarkably rough year for me and I’m sure for many others, it got to a point where staying afloat was becoming more and more difficult. This award is a reminder of my warrior spirit and will continue to serve as my reminder when I feel I’m not capable or worthy.

The emotion

When they called my name, my brain had to process whether they’d actually called it, I froze in dire disbelief and kept thinking “did I actually hear my name or was it my inner thoughts imagining how it would be if my name was actually called.” Reality set in when I got hugged left right and centre and then the things us women do when we can’t control our excitement began… Yes, I screamed and then cried.

I couldn’t think who to call first, it at one point felt like an asthma attack was coming on hahahaha #imaginethat

When the confiti fell and photos were taken, I felt an immense sense of gratitude to God for always just showing up and showing off at the times it’s needed.

As a side note, I’ve always been drawn to Brazil, their colourful culture and free spirited individuals. My name on mxit (do you guys remember that instant messaging app) was Ms Brazil and my mom would always refer to me as her Brazilian queen and then look at God…like he noted these things and said hey, when you need it the most, I will whip out this big break.

I felt gratitude towards the very many people that have taken a chance on me, who have said yes to me and an idea, those who said no to me, those who invested their time and knowledge in me, my trainers, simulations team leader, every team leader I’ve worked under, my colleagues who inspire me daily in one form or another, management for always leading from the front and my family and friends for always reminding me that I can do whatever I set my mind to do and who never allowed me to fail without trying my utmost best.

Working hard is one thing, but having people by your side to support and grow you is something else. That’s the organisation I work for and the people I’m surrounded by, all of whom Ive always been particular fond of.

The aftermath

Fast forward to the next morning. I’ve barely slept because I think I’m still in shock. I feel special, I feel like what I do honestly matters, I feel overjoyed because let’s be honest, I wouldn’t be able to afford this trip any time soon, on my own. I feel loved, by the many messages filtering through, the kind words and affirmations.

And these are just a few

Seeing a company so dedicated to recognizing the work it’s people does and to this extent is just remarkable to witness. Again, to say that I am honored would be an understatement.

So do everything with love, work hard and trust that it always pays off. Acknowledge the people you think are worthy and just continue to grow in love, light, faith and knowledge. The world has one of everybody else, what it needs is you, so leave a piece of you in everything that you do.

To everyone who has played a role in my journey and took the time and effort to groom me, this isn’t just my award. It’s ours and I thank you.

Love and light always, for just an ordinary girl going to Brazil

Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

How’s your day?

It has been such a challenging few weeks. You know when sometimes you feel like you’re drowning and the more you want to try and work through things, the more you get overwhelmed because you just know know where to start? That’s been me.

Moving into a new role is challenging enough. I was more excited about this because I was up for the challenge. What I was not prepared for was that, plus my Mums unexpected health shock, all whilst assignments and exams prep is underway.

I sought to pint rest for motivational quotes and other motivational sites to help keep me afloat and the support I’ve received from colleagues, friends and family has been of a great help but the lack of support from the people we sometimes need it from the most just adds to the already overwhelming period.

I just feel like I need to be doing more but I just don’t have the mental capacity to do so right now. Ever felt that way?

I know these moments are meant to make us grow and groom us into better versions of ourselves and I’m always ready for the rough seas before reaching calmer waters. I just needed to vent.

Giving up is not in my DNA. So even the thought of progress serves like a ray of sunshine in what seems to be a very gloomy and never-ending day.

Some personal and honest thoughts and feelings from just an ordinary girl trying to do better.

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

My head is barely above water

I had to work extremely hard today to control the anger,to keep the memories from swallowing and drowning my heart. And I’m exhausted now.

Memories of the different encounters of abuse, the affairs, the loss of my son, the violence, the struggles of just being a true authentic human being and people often taking that for a weakness, the heartache… It all came flooding back. I know what happens when I allow it to wash me away to depressing shores and so I fight daily to keep afloat. Today I’m barely making it.

See, what people don’t understand is that when you go through something traumatic, it never goes away. We work hard daily to rise above it all and keep moving, to work at it, to restore faith and trust. Its an everyday job where leave is something utopic. Some days we’re successful and are euphoric and other days we struggle, barely keeping our faces above water.

Today was one of those days for me.

To the pretentious kind. I don’t have the energy to deal with you today, so stay at bay.

To the judges of the world, do me a favour and take 30 to just relook at your own life. I can almost bet the judgment you possess towards me will be making a 360 towards yourself.

To the perpetrators, come correct… Kind is somewhere in my DNA, just not at the forefront of my logic today… So preservation of the positivity in my optimism well is the main goal for now. Not your pride or your ego…that I generally nurture in hope of yourll doing and being better.

I still have a house to clean, a prayer to say and tons of assignments to do. Allah if ever I needed you, it’s today.

Truest feelings, from just an ordinary girl trying to stay afloat

community work, Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal, studying

Team All_things_nice Millennial Group (AMG) = hope personified.

Chapter one

The gist

Many South Africans “stood” in solidarity yesterday by wearing all black. This was a stand up against the brutal attacks on women and the xenophobic attacks that have escalated in past weeks.

I decided to stand with my fellow South Africans in, what I believe to be, a different way.

See, Maya Angelou once said that people will forget what you do for them but they will never forget how you make them feel… Or something along those lines. And I for one, agree with her.

So I set out on a task, which started out prematurely but ended in the most heartfelt, touching way.

Chapter two.

Filling in the gaps

Towards the end of July 2019 I applied to be a simulations Team leader. It’s basically a team leader coach to new people entering the business, in their training period. I was successful. People have always been my passion and I love making people smile and just helping out in general. Not blowing my own horn, but just giving you an idea of why I was so excited when I was awarded this opportunity.

What was daunting is that the group I was selected to help out with, is a Learnership group. Yeap millenials who are mostly fresh out of high school…

I’m sure you can understand why this was a teeny weeny bit nerve wrecking!

Fast forward a month and a half, a couple of coaching sessions, hilarious and sometimes inappropriate comments/encounters and unforgettable moments… These guys and girls have literally changed my life and have each earned a place in my heart.

The final chapter.

The lasting impact

Friday, the 06th of September 2019. I woke up and dressed in navy blue. I honestly forgot about the whole wear black escapade. Don’t judge me, it was a really rough week, with late nights, early mornings, minimal sleep and still thoughts of spending the weekend buried in text books and having to finish 11 assignments. So go easy on me now.

With all of the chaos happening around us; the negativity, anger and darkness our country seems to be in, I wanted to create a positive hub in our training room. The aim was purely to lift our spirits.

The thinking behind this task was to encourage these young girls and guys to always show gratitude, to focus on the positive and to always seek the silver lining; to see hope in adversity.

The task of the day was for each of them to write one thing that they like best about themselves and then to go around the room and tell each of their training buddies one thing that they like about them.

No lie, it started out funny. But believe me when I say that by the time we were done, it was one of the most fulfilling, heartfelt, sincere and memorable moments I’ve ever witnessed. I saw young kings show vulnerabilty and gratitude towards their fellow kings and watched them pour their inner most feelings out to the fellow queens in our training group. I saw young queens commend and speak life into their fellow queens and watched them uplift our young kings.

It was a beautiful and inspiring encounter. Ego, pride, shade, conspiracy, negativity, fakenicity (its a word, don’t ask further) had no place in that room. It didn’t exist. And boy was that refreshing.

The whole task was so authentic that I woke up inspired to write this post.

My Learnership guys have given me hope. Hope in our future. Hope in our young men and women. They aren’t just delinquent, entitled millenials. They are young, bright, sincere, real, talented and respectful beings.

I am super blessed to have encountered each and every one of them.

Team AMG. You guys rock awesome!

Love, light and cool vibes only… From just an ordinary simulations team leader.

Business, Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

I won a quarterly Star Award

The begining

From the first day I walked inside the KZN DH (my employer) offices, I knew I wanted to do great things.

My journey at DH was the start of a new Era for me. Leaving behind a toxic marriage, getting over the death of my son, and two grans; I knew I needed to dust myself off and steer this ship into positive, calmer waters. DH was the begining of that journey.

I’ve worked my behind off, trying to better myself both personally and in my career. And when I heard what a star award was and everything you needed to exude and possess to be nominated or even to win one, I knew I wanted to hold the title of this award. Not for the title itself, but to prove to myself that I am worthy and I possess all the right qualities to keep myself ahead and afloat.

Random info bits

Everyone who knows me, knows that 2013/14 were the toughest years of my life.

What people don’t know is that 2018/19 were even tougher.

Battling health issues, an array personal soul-eating and positive sucking battles, being a student whilst juggling work and personal projects, I found myself working triple time just to stay afloat. This is how I’ve been feeling.

Fighting battles that challenged my spirit, my faith, my character, my identity and almost surrending.

It’s been rough and tough. I’ve never been challenged this much. But I know that you only grow when you’re out of your comfort zone.

The call

Friday, 07 June 2019, I went to get some rest to prep myself for a night of studying. I get a phone call telling me that I’ve won a quarterly Star award. I was in shock. Literally. All I remember was thanking the management team and then crying when I put the phone down.

There were other times I’d deem myself “on top of my game” or “worthy” but of late I’ve been feeling burnt out. Drowning almost. Never in a 1000 Years did I expect that I’d be chosen to win at this point. I mean I knew I’ve been working and working hard. But that’s never been an option; not working hard. I guess with all the negative stuff thats been around me, it felt too good to be true. Like this was my break almost.

What the award means to me

This award is confirmation to myself that I still have so much more fight, so much more passion, so much more to give. It’s God’s way of telling me I am enough and that the devil cannot and will not steal my joy. It’s the universes way of telling me to keep my head up and keep going because I am one of its brightest stars and my shine has not been dulled. It’s my employers way of telling me that my efforts are not unnoticed.

Know this

I’ve never ran from adversity. It’s not in my DNA to. Even when I don’t know it, my body’s natural instinct is to gear up and fight my best fight. I may have been down temporary, but this girl is coming back with a vegence.

Thank you

Thank you to all my team leaders. From my extended hour team to where I’m currently at as a client relationship manager. I could never have gotten this far with out you guys. To my dearest work friends that have now become my family, thank you for always encouraging me and pushing me. To the management team thank you for leading by example and paving the way for us. Thank you for believing in me. For the person who nominated me, thank you for deeming me worthy of your time and of this award. I am forever grateful. To my family and my husband, thank you for never letting me stay down, for never allowing me to throw my own pity party, for always encouraging me. And then last but but least, shukr Allah, for listening to me and putting me through trials and tribulations to teach me the lessons I needed to be taught. Thank you for never giving up on me. I am forever grateful.

Love and light always, from just an ordinary quarterly star award winner ❤️

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Slamaat on your 6th birthday Mika’il

Six years. You would have been six years.

I thought time would have healed me abit and by now I’d be abit more stable when your birthday comes… I guess I was wrong. I think time has taught me to keep myself distracted, but on days like this, it’s impossible.

I try to celebrate you, in fact, I celebrate you daily. You have pushed me to be the woman with characteristics of the mother I would have wanted to be to you. Each time I’m In a situation, I think “what example would I be leaving if Mika’il were here”.

Precious child, you have made such an impact in my life. I really thank Allah that he chose me to carry you.

Flashbacks of the day that I lost you came flooding in from 01:05am when my sleep broke this morning.

As much as I trust Allah had different plans for you, I still question if you’d be here if only I had made different decisions or if only I stayed off my feet and rested as I should have.

But anyway, you would have been six today. Lol no guessing that I would have been way more excited than you. You would have also started big school. Gawsh, I don’t think they make phones big enough to house all the photos I’d take of you daily. I often wonder how it would have been; me coming home to help you with homework, teach you. You going to madressa and learning more about your religion. I often wonder what type of questions you’d be asking me.

I often wonder… I do that alot actually.

So on your special day. Know that mum and a whole lot of aunts and uncles, cousins, Junaid and Ma & PA are thinking of you. I know you’re in a much better place my son.

The love I have for you will never die. Till we meet again sweet child.

Slamaat on your sixth heavenly birthday.

Love and light always,