Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

#DFH #67: I found you

Dear Future Husband… I found you.

About two years ago I started the dear future husband thread… putting out everything I had wished for in a man and everything I’d do once I found him.

Today, I wake up a married woman. Junaid and I have known each other since we were little… but only started dating in December. Him, just like I, was married prior and so we knew exactly what we wanted.

We knew that it was meant to be and planned to get married in November…. but God’s timing prevailed.

We discussed and decided we’d get nikkad before our holy month of Ramadan and literally planned a wedding in about two days.

My dad did my draping, my mum, aunties and cousin the cooking, my cuz and I the running around and setting up and boy oh boy was it so fulfilling.

I have never experienced this amount of happiness and contentment. He is everything I’ve asked for in this thread and more and sometimes I’m in awe of how God answered my prayers till the last T crossed and I dotted.

My family never fails me and this just increased my gratitude towards them for all they’ve done.

Whilst I’m sayin good bye to this thread, I look forward to the journey ahead.

May this thread be a testimony that God listens, that one should not just settle and that patience is indeed a virtue.

Dear husband… I love you and look forward to spending the rest of my days with you.

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #31

There is one element of  any relationship, that’s importance is often overlooked: That element being Communication.

Many of us don’t see the importance or relevance of communication; stating our intention, saying what we feel, checking in with a loved one or giving a heads up to our significant other when we can’t make that normal routine dinner, chat, movie etc.

A little bit of communication goes such a long way. 

Today’s quote is based on this concept:

Tony Gaskin beautifully said:

Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Don’t suffocate your relationship by not communicating.

See how important it is? 

To those of you who really feel like: 

“if I don’t call or Text or make time to see you, I have a very good reason and I expect you to understand.”

Here’s what I have to say to you:

We, are not. mind readers!

Don’t have such great expectations because I can guarantee that half of the time you’re going to be disappointed.

I am a very literal person, I don’t like to assume and so sometimes those around me get bugged because I will ask THE most literal of questions just to ensure that I have all the facts before I comment or say what or how I feel. I learnt to be this way because in my previous relationships, communication was blatantly overlooked. It was selective and conditional. It was for this reason that through my self reflection journey,  I made a promise to myself that any relationship that may come after, be it a friendship, courtship or marriage, communication will not be conditional or inconsistent and that I will ensure that I hold up to my end. All in the name of growing and learning from past mistakes.

I see all kinds relationships fail daily because of a lack of communication. Because one feels “oh why bother” 

Dearest one, never have that attitude! If you’re in a any relationship you have a right to be heard, for your feelings to be respected, and for your views to be considered. If you don’t, I can almost guarantee you will fester feelings of resentment and negativity. But who would you possibly blame for that? If you are not telling somebody how you feel about certain things, how are they going to know it makes you feel a certain way? 

What I’ve learnt though, is the ones who feel “why bother” often say that because they don’t want to be wrong or to take accountability for their part. Yes, I said it. I’ve witnessed it. It becomes too much for them to bare that there are things they can improve on and they almost feel like they have so much going on, how are they supposed to fix this as well. Often they’re going through other things in their lives and it all becomes too much.

All I can say is that it is a beautiful thing when you overcome an issue through communicating. It’s so fulfilling.

I think it is the peak of respect for a relationship and a person when you two have a safe space created with each other, by each other and for each other where you can state your inner most feelings towards certain things and work towards it. 

Is it always easy? Hell no! Nothing that’s ever good for you comes easy. If anything, it’s easier to just say “forget about it” well let me just say, I’m not about that forgetting life. It’s damn hard work. You sometimes end up sounding like a scratched record, and feel like you’re fighting a losing battle but trust me, with the good intention of your relationship, it will soon pay off. Especially if both persons are that much dedicated to making that friendship, relationship, marriage or family tie last. 

Communication is a fundamental building block in the foundation of any relationship. Do not take its essence for granted. 

May we all strive to communicate better ❤️

Some insight, from just an ordinary girl 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

#QOTD #4

Having started a new relationship recently and celebrating my cousins wedding. This quote is my inspiration today and one which I thrive to be like.

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.

~ The inspirational Maya Angelou


May we all travel this journey and reach our destination of hope by the will and permission of the almighty.

Love and light always.

TayBreezy 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

#DFH #29

Dear future husband,

I’ve had help becoming the women that I am today. The people in my circle played a huge and fundamental role in my healing process and also just in terms of me working towards being better than I was yesterday.

Would you support me when I want to or rather need to return the favour to them? Will you celebrate them with me and appreciate the value that they’ve added, are adding and will probably add to my existence in the future? 

This is so huge for me because loyalty is a big thing for me and everyone who is in my circle now, has been here for years. 

Besides, they’re experts when it comes to me, they’ve been exposed to my moods , my flaws and my good days; who better to learn from 😊
I really would appreciate it if you are able and willing to do this with me.

Wishing you a Godly, wonderful , positive- filled vibed week. 

Loving you already,

Your future wife 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

#DFH #16

Dear future husband, 

I can be a melomaniac at times; after God, music is a “go-to” place me for and then writing. Please don’t ever feel like you’re inadequate! 

You will learn that I am appreciative of any effort put into making me smile or feel better. It is the simple things that my heart is after.

What would make me real happy is after that long hug and “baby we’re gonna be ok” and after us praying together, for you to rap along to Tupac, J cole, common or even Yasiin Bey with me…just to vent and crack up in laughter. I would appreciate more if we sing along to keyshia or Whitney.

Would this be much to ask?

Know that  I would do it with and for you any day if it would make you feel better. Would play PlayStation or watch sports or even just sit and do nothing and be quiet ( the hardest thing for me, but I’d do it for you lol) if it would make you feel better. 

Sigh, can you come already? 

Love,

Your future wife 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

#DFH #4

Dear future husband,

So I can be a wee bit domineering, don’t be afraid to “keep me in check” and show me who “wears the pants”sometimes, not all the time now. 

You will be the head of my home, so I expect you to act like it and not give me my own way all the time.

Thanking you in advance for the balance,

Your future wife 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

You don’t need bae

So there’s this young couple that stays close by, I often look @ them and each time I get reminded of my previous relation with my ex husband. There’s day he would walk her to school and you can tell by their body language that they would be having THE best conversations – and then there are days when they are fighting and you’re thinking to yourself ” why does she stay” their fights get pretty ugly especially for their age. 

My ex husband and I could have the most weird, informative, serious, thought-provoking conversations. We had the ability to be each other’s besties but when we fought it always got ugly and not just ugly, ugly on steroids! 

This young couple also lost their baby just that hers was at 5months. 

What’s intriguing about the whole thing is that I feel as though the adult me is looking at the tween version of me. You can tell she loves him with her all and that’s why she will stay with him no matter what; I mean she’s still in school and has her WHOLE life ahead of her but her heart is set on this one… lol Gawsh I was just like this.

I’ve learnt now that the reason we tend to get so consumed is because we are looking for fulfillment, we are misconceived that this fulfillment can come from a partners love. I say that there is some truth in this but until you can fulfill yourself and until God is sufficient for you… one will always find themselves in these kinds of relationships; the type that is so good but tends to end up bad.

We often forget or maybe not taught or reminded enough, that in your tween years, you still learning yourself, how do we do that (learn ourselves)  when we are more consumed with another person than we are ourselves? 

When we do realize , it’s generally when we’re waaayyy older and then start looking to do things and be things that our tween self should have done or would have become or, we done married with kids and it seems it’s way too late to leave. 

So the point I’m trying to make is that : 

Parents:

Remind your kids that they are still developing and finding themselves, and try as hard as you can to steer them in the direction of focusing on themselves and their goals before getting excited for “weekend with bae” or “baecation” posts. 

Tweenies: 

You will never get these years back, whilst having a partner isn’t at all bad, don’t let it be your be all and end all. Focus on you, your likes, dislikes, goals, travel! Get to know yourselves first in order to be THE best significant other to the one who you will claim to love.


You don’t need bae now! You need yourself and you need God… let them find you when you are grounded with a clear vision of who and what you are and when you are THE BEST version of yourself … it would really be a shame to waste a relationship because you outgrew each other.


They say us women are excellent at multitasking, but trying to know and love and be everything for another person and yourself can be alil tough and daunting. 


Some observations from an ordinary young adult xx