Girl power, health, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, personal, tips

Ladies only: My journey with abnormal uterine bleeding

It’s been a while since I’ve last blogged here. Being in a very confusing and overwhelming state and my health taking a knock, I honestly haven’t had much gumption for anything besides sleep.

Many of you who know me, know that for the past two years, I’ve been battling abnormal uterine bleeding. This post is me documenting my journey with this in hope to offer support to others who are battling the same thing and to get support, tips and tricks from others as well. So here it goes.

My journey!

In 2018, I was admitted twice, by two different gynae’s for abnormal uterine bleeding and discharged without an actual diagnosis. I was treated for the bleeding and it was stopped, all scans and tests came back normal and I was told stress and a bad diet can lead to hormonal imbalances, which is the secondary cause of most cases of uterine bleeding. I instructed to lose some weight and all will be fine and was put on the pill (Marvelon) for a few months and was told all should be sorted. I will admit, my weight has been up and down and I haven’t spent much time focusing on losing weight. It might be an excuse but might I add, the previous Gynae didn’t pin it down to weight loss because he said he’d treated and delivered babies for patients heavier than me.

For a couple of months after that I was fine. Period was regular and hey, the cloud over my head was disappearing…but not for long. Soon after, 1 period lead from one week, to one month to three. The bleeding would then suddenly stop. Then I’d go months without bleeding or getting a period and then the cycle would start all over again.

This has been going on for about two years. I know there are many women who can relate. It’s amazing when you reach out and only then do you hear and come to know of so many women going through this. It isn’t easy to deal with this. Physically, mentally and psychologically. It is draining. We will keep that post ( the emotional roller coaster for another post).

To date I’ve been bleeding heavily for months. About a month ago I visited my GP who gave me medication to stop the bleeding and started me on the pill again (Marvelon). For the first week, the bleeding had stopped, goodness was I relieved but then Aunty Susie and her cousins had withdrawal symptoms and just needed to visit again. Yeap, the bleeding started again, even whilst being on the pill. Just this time is was coupled with the most severe cramps I have ever experienced. If I could compare it, it would def fit the description of a contraction. The heaviness of the pelvic area, the wave of excruciating pain and a sharper pain over the left ovary and my lower back region. This got me really worried.

With all things COVID and the financial burdens it has added on many of our shoulders, seeing a gynae was going to to harden the blow. Nothing less than R1000 for a consult plus whatever meds they were going to prescribe, which I was certain would include something to stop the bleeding, very expensive pills, and another batch of contraceptives, iron supplements and who knows what else.

I decided to research homeopathy instead. Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of feeding my body something synthetic to do what it is naturally supposed to do. So I was never a fan of any form of contraceptive. I’ve always gravitated to all things natural, from oil mixtures for my hair, to making home treatments for my face, the flu, green juices etc. I figured I have nothing to lose by just trying a more natural approach since the more conventional medicine routine didn’t help much.

I googled and found Dr Farzana Hansa based in Musgrave Durban and decided to visit. I was so impressed by her, she just had a wonderful aura and energy. I felt so calm around her. She was really concerned by how long I’d been bleeding for and made a concerted effort to create a time line for me, from family history of illnesses, to my illnesses, to physical concerns from head to toe, to emotional and mental check ins. As a side note I have been under an immense amount of stress from both my work and personal life. To the point where I find it difficult to just cope and manage. I feel so overwhelmed and to still be battling health issues…it becomes much even for strong people like myself. I had divulged all of this to her, including the loss of Mikail, the step admissions I mentioned earlier and all of my chronic illness etc. she even asked for medication intake frequently.

She started me on a regime to try to balance out the hormones and to manage the anxiety and stress. She prescribed 30 drops Ashwaghanda and Rhodliola drops with 30 drops of chasteberry drops in a 1/4 glass of water morning and evening. 5 drops of vitamin D drops every morning under the tongue and my very first homeopathic treatment called calc carb, to help with and manage the stress and moods and that’s 5 drops under the tongue every evening. All this with a probiotic, omega 3 and iron supplement.

My natural medicine regimen

She made me feel hopeful again as she said that there are lots of natural remedies to try but started off with this to see if it works. I am day 4 into the regime and have a check in with her next Friday. Let’s cross fingers and hope the bleeding calms. I have noticed a better quality of my sleep from day 2 but to date, the bleeding is still very heavy. The cramps however, are not as frequent and not as intense. For the four bottles of treatment ( Ashwagandha, Chasteberry, Vit D and the Calc Carb, I already had the other stuff, so she suggested to finish that off) with the consult, my bill was R1 045.00. Compared to what I would’ve paid had I visited a gynae. I was chuffed.

This is where I am at on my journey. I had an idea to try and document each milestone or encounter and really hope this may some how offer support to anyone else going through this. I know how lonely it gets going through this. Just know you are not alone and any other woman reading this, if you know if someone battling this, please make a concerted effort to check in with her every now and then, send anything like a positive message or upbeat song, to uplift a mood. Most often than not, just those small things helps us get through the day on some of our worst days.

Love and light always, from just an ordinary girl

community work, Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Gender equality: a social norm or still an issue?

I was asked to comment on this topic for Tabloid Media newspaper.

Take a read by clicking Here and scrolling to page 10 of 16.

I would love to have your views on gender equality and how it should be viewed in this day and age.

Love and light always!

Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Coloureds: A product of rape they say

My heritage |images sourced from google|

Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.

I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.

But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.

I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.

I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.

I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?

I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.

But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.

Really?!

Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.

Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?

We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?

Well this is what I have to say.

Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.

Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.

You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.

Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.

I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!

Love and light always fam

From just an ordinary girl

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Happy 5th birthday my heavenly angel.

Slamaat on your fifth birthday Mika’il, may the angels sing for you and may you have a ball up there with all of your heavenly friends. I love you boy and never will I ever forget you and how precious you were!

Every year I tell myself that I need to be strong and that I shouldn’t cry or mourn the birth/passing of my son.

Each year, I feel stronger. Whilst I still randomly think of him and how he’d be, what milestones he would have achieved and what his favourite thing to do would be, I smile more.

Until his birthday.

My boy would have been five today. I barely slept having this unsettled feeling. The morning dawned and the memories of the awful day came flashing through, my heart sank and the tears can’t be controlled.

No person will really understand it unless they’ve been through it. We are told not to cry and that they’re better off and well that’s true… but it isn’t that simple.

I commend those moms who have lost kids and still keep their strong, keep pushing forward, keep smiling and keep inspiring. The moms who have had more kids and are still able to give and give and give. You women are power!

May the almighty bring comfort to us all and may we all be reunited with our little angels one day.

Love and light, from just an ordinary girl

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Woman: which one are you? 

So today, I’m sharing a quote that came to me whilst I was writing this post. I’ve been seeing the behavior of some women outchea together with doing some self reflection and that got me 💭. So here it goes…

If you know me, you’d know that I am all about empowering people, women especially. I believe us women are Devine species, we have power. We birth nations. We subtle yet fierce. We are plan makers. We’re strong, both emotionally and physically. We endure with a smile and well the list of how awesome I think we are can go on for days.


We often are quick to call out men and deem them trash, some of whom rightly deserve such tags. But let me tell you about the two kinds of women on this earth because honestly, some of us are beneath trash!

You get the woman who knows her power, she knows that she can do what men can do, but chooses not to because she knows that her Devine purpose was not to be like men. She knows that her devine purpose is to be something more powerful; support, companionship, compassion, fierce, teachers of the home, of the nation!

What she does, she knows that nobody, not even men can do. She knows that men have a purpose and so do women and so she’s only concerned with being the best she can be in fulfilling that purpose. (I aspire to be just like this)

Then you get the woman who THINKS she knows her power and Inturn misuses it. The one who judges and looks down upon her fellow sisters, the one who is more consumed with being in competition for worldly things than actually getting her eish in order. The one who is arrogant and feels like the world owes her. The one who will encourage ruthless behavior just to prove a point to validate herself. ( I’m guilty of some of these things, I never encourage ruthless behavior and I don’t compete though!) 

Women can destroy, as easily as they can build nations. 

~ me


We will never be equal to men because then we’d need to be compared to them and really! There’s no comparison.
Men were put on this earth to carry out their own set of purposes; head their homes, provide for their families,  Protect their loved ones, Persue their person of honour etc. It really wouldn’t be fair to compare! 

If we can just go back to the basics (of understanding men and women were put on this earth for different purposes) for a second, lots of things can be changed. It’s effects can be powerful. 

If we can raise women who know their power as opposed to thinking they know their power or misusing it, things like affairs, divorces, broken homes etc. will minimize. If we go back to being okay with what our sole purpose is, and force men into fulfilling what they’ve been put on this earth to do (by not settling for less) we would not have the repercussions of kids acting out coz their fathers are nowhere to be seen. Abuse to women and children will minimize and the world will just be a more respectful place to live in.  Utopian you may say? I say say it starts with you and I. 

Imagine, all this lies in the power of a woman and the choice of how she will use her God-given power. 

And no honey, God will never send you somebody else’s husband. Having an affair should not give your airs and graces about yourself. You should not feel like you’ve “won” because men aren’t prizes, and your fellow women are not your enemies. Also, gaining anything in this world on anything but merit should not make you feel proud. 

Always think, if what you do to others were to be done unto you, how would you feel. If it’s not good, you know what to do.

|Love yourself |respect yourself |Own your power |Go!


Observations from just an ordinary girl 

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#DFH #27

I am not what you think I should be. Accept me for who I am. 

I am not my hair,

My body or 

The way I batter my eye lashes. 

I am not the price of what  I wear, who I speak to or perfume I wear.

I am not the shape of my eyebrows, the piercings that I have or the things that I own. 

I will not conform to what societies say I should conform to. I will never be a well- behaved women! 

I am however,

Imperfect.

Everything I do is based  on my mood and according to what feels good in my soul. Mainly on what God says I should be doing or how I should be acting… 

I am my connections and interaction with people.

I am my ability to follow the word of the almighty.

I am flaw-filled, so much so that my cup runneth over.

I am my ability to fail at things, and then get back up and try again.

I am my will to be better and do good all the time. Whether I get it right or not is a story for another day. 

I am my urge to keep things 100 all the time.

I am my desire to respect others.

You will see me all prim and proper one day and then a vagabont the next. It’s all on me. 

I am my morals and my values.

I am my modesty; the way I dress according to how God says I should and the way I interact with people.

I am a product of God. 

I am me and that is enough! Please do not put me in a box 📦 

Some things to know about me 🙂 

Your future wife 

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#BringQueensBack

Walk in class,

Walk in faith,

Walk in self validation,

Walk in ambition,

Walk with morals and values,

Walk with kindness,

Walk with a desire to do and be better,

Walk with pride,

Walk with a smile, 

Walk in heels, flats, or even bare foot… but just keep walking towards being better than you were yesterday. 

Walk with unbrushed hair if you will, 

Walk with gratitude,

Walk your walk! 

Walking with Spanks, or

make-up, or

weave or 

eye brows done- up 

…may make the walk seem more glamorous but it’s never been about what you look like walking your path but rather where your path is leading. It’s about balance. 

Queens, dont be a victim of this new superficial culture. Be who you were born to be and not who man wants you to be. Be authentic. Be YOU tiful. Be a queen!

Women are strength personified. We are the mother’s of nations. The power we possess is of a magnitude that no words can describe. Let that sink in! 

Now can we bring queens back please? 

Thank you.

A humble plea, from just an ordinary queen!

Beauty, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

You are not JUST a woman…

What does women’s day mean to you? 
Is it just another public holiday… Or not? Is it just another day to get wasted or to sleep? Or is it a day that should make us at the very least sit and ponder about how grateful we should be for the women in our lives. 

It is said, and I concur, that a women has the ability to birth and lead nations. She is compassion. She is love. She is fierce. She is gentle. She is kind. She is the perfect balance. She is a teacher. A nurse. A social worker. A helper. She is a kid, A gran, mum, daughter, she is a friend, a coach. She is a super human. She is gracious. She is a believer, a multiplier. She is strength personified. She is a rock.

A women is not her figure, the curl in her hair or the color of her skin. She is not the gap between her thighs, her eye brows or the dimples on her face. She is not the clothes she wears or the cars she drives. She is not her profile picture or the pose she strikes. She is not a punching bag, a slave or inferior to anybody. 

Women, know your worth… Because if you don’t nobody else will and it can become very easy for anybody to take advantage of you. 

Live in love. Live in kind. Live in God. Walk with purpose and be not chained by the conformities of society.   

You are unique. you are beautiful. You are worth it and you are equal.

A very happy women’s day to each and every woman out there.