Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Coloureds: A product of rape they say

My heritage |images sourced from google|

Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.

I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.

But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.

I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.

I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.

I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?

I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.

But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.

Really?!

Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.

Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?

We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?

Well this is what I have to say.

Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.

Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.

You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.

Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.

I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!

Love and light always fam

From just an ordinary girl

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Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

I owe my freedom to…

This morning I had a conversation that really made me sit and think about life, my purpose, blessings, experiences and then also who made it all possible;

  • God
  • My parents
  • Circle of friends and family

Having celebrated freedom day yesterday, I feel this post is fitting.

I have no shame telling people my story; not because I want or expect pity or even to bad mouth anybody, but to create hope in knowing that with prayer and the right people you allow in, you can overcome any and all adversities.

I fell pregnant, married the love of my life at the time, sh%t went south, was abused, lost my son at birth, lost my gran a few months after, got cheated on, got a divorce, lost my other gran and all in the space of a year and few.

GOD

When I returned home, I returned dignityless, broke as broke could be and with buckets full of emotion and questions and hurts and pain. I questioned God, everyone who knows me knows I love children and that my love is unconditional… why would he take those two things away from me. I was okay with being abused and unhappy, I was okay with making God and my parents unhappy; as long as I was with him and had my son, I was okay. Can you begin to imagine our absurd that is?

Truth is, lots of women feel and think that way.

Having nothing else to do, I started finding God, researched religions, I needed to know about this power that could do such, at his will. And trust, it was the best decision of my life.

I am born Muslim, but today I sit here saying that I choose to be Muslim. Upon reading and researching, I began to pray, at early hours of the morning. I would cry and ask God to pacify my heart because the pain was unbearable. I hid it well, maybe because of pride or even embarrassment? But I hid it well.

My perspective changed and I read about how babies who pass away will intercede for their mums on judgement day, I learnt that those who are favoured by God, are tested… I mean look at all the prophets and what they endured? I learned how women are valued in Islam and how we should be treated, and so I started expecting nothing less.

I became stronger and started seeing my blessings, my courage-meter started rising and rebuilding and reforming myself was what I began to do. Perhaps losing all that I lost, forced me to get closer to God; he is a jealous God after all. Perhaps it strengthened me to leave the toxic environment that I and him (my ex hubby) created. Perhaps Mika’il was an angel sent to save me from myself, so that I could find my purpose and fulfill it….

PARENTS

The beings we often take for granted. I come from an average background. Whilst we weren’t as poor as others I know, there were days we went with the bare minimum and everything we owned was worked for; sweat and tears literally.

Part of high school fees were sponsored and I remember taking lemon creams for a cake sale (in a private school with rich brats) because that’s all my dad could afford, they obviously pushed it aside because it weren’t as good for them as their novelty cakes.I couldn’t care less about them but felt more loved than anything, because MY DAD took his last and bought that for me.

My parents gave my siblings and I the best they had @ 100%… selfless, imperfect beings that were going through their own adversities but put our needs first. They made sure that we grew up with sound education and religion knowledge especially because they couldn’t teach us themselves… they only knew so much.

I look at them both today; Mum studied and is now a senior manager for one of SAs leading retailers and my dad, so religious inclined its unbelievable. My mum worked as a casual worker for EIGHT years before she became permanent. Yet she persevered. My dad was all things naughty, he drank, drugged, was affiliated with one of the most popular gangs in Durban but when my sister was born, he began his journey. Leaving school in grade 8, he now works independently as a tiler, being his own boss and growing in character and knowledge day by day.

With these two as an example… how could I quit? Sure we had and still have problems, but all families do. My parents are real-life examples of how perseverance, hard work and prayer can pull you out of any situation. And so I aspire to be just like them.

⭕️ OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY

My mum always told us to choose our friends wisely, back then it made no sense. Today, as 28 year old…it makes perfect sense. Science says that you become like the five closest people to you. Religion says that you should be wary of the company you keep… surely Mum, science and God cannot be wrong. You see, humans feed off each other in a non-parasitic way. We feed off energies. If you’re around negative, non-spiritual, uninspired folk…you will soon become just like them. On the flip side, if you affiliate yourself with people who are positive,warriors, those who know God and practice their faith each day and those who aspire to do many great things… it’s only a matter of time before you become just like that too.

I have had amazing people in and around my circle over the years. Ive had the best religious examples around me and I’ve had the most goal-driven people in my space. There was no way they were going to allow me to cave permanently.

They encouraged me when giving up was the easiest thing to do after days, weeks and months with internal battles and battling the trauma and adversities I been battling for so long. I was encouraged to pray and get closer to my creator, I was encouraged to re-wire my brain to look at the positives in every situation. I was pushed to set goals and boundaries for myself.

Today I sit here, looking back at yesterday; freedom day, and pondering over who was responsible for my freedom and they are:

  • God
  • My folks
  • My circle

Through my adversities I was reminded how highly blessed and favored I was and still am.

It’s 2018, 4-5 years after everything has happened and whilst it was not and still isn’t an easy road. I am way better off from where I started. I have achieved the littlest of things that made the hugest difference and I continue soaring and fighting on like the warrior God made me to be.

I am not where I want to be, I’m not Gods most loyal servant, I’m far from perfect. I’m miles away from financial freedom. But I am free. I am still. I am persevering and My faith is unshakable.

Love and light always; from just an ordinary girl

*all pictures are sourced from google*

Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, Photography, travel

South Africa’s most romantic cities

Deciding what to do for an anniversary? Looking for a romantic getaway to propose or contemplating a well-deserved “time-out” surprise with your significant other?

Do not despair! We are going to feature some of South Africa’s most romantic cities. There are amazing cities you can visit with tons of activity to bring you and yours closer.

We kick off this feature with my home town:

Durban

image1.jpeg

Known for its subtropical climate and extensive beaches; it makes for a romantic hub of note.

You will have an array of activities to keep you and yours occupied.

You can enjoy long walks on the promenade or romantic picnics at the infamous Botanic or Japanese gardens. Feel for an intimate brekkie date? You can visit one of our many unique and quaint cafés. One of my favourite joints to visit is the Antique Café’… you will not be sorry.

If you want to add a little extra sparkle to ignite tons of memories, you can enjoy a variety of Zulumoon gondola rides or sunset cruises in and around the Durban harbor.

We also have activities for the adventurers! You can experience swinging from the world’s tallest swing at the Moses Mabhida Stadium or you and yours could go cage diving with the Sharks down the KZN south coast.

You’ll be a guaranteed to enjoy a variety of cuisines including our most popular; Indian, infused with the freshest of spices to tantalise those taste buds.

Next up, we feature the city of Gold:

Johannesburg

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Johannesburg (Egoli) is the largest city in South Africa. Known for its historical opulence and modern flare, you can enjoy site-seeing and museum hopping in the streets of Soweto. For some grown-up fun, you and yours can play dress-up, wish upon a jackpot star and then whisk off to the Monte Casino to black jack or spin-a-wheel.

My personal favorite thing to do, because it brings out my inner-child, is to visit the Gold Reef City theme park. A reasonable entry fee allows you all-day access to some of the most exhilarating rides. If you’re like me and reside outside of Egoli, cheap flights to Johannesburg is a thing, so do not despair. Fun and memories will be guaranteed.

Last but definitely not least, the mother city:

Cape Town: The home of my heritage.

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Cape Town is like that humble, cool kid in school, you want to despise it, yet you can’t help but love it at the same time.

Known for its colourful demeanor, multi-culture, unique mountains and breath-taking scenery, it really is no wonder why it has gained popularity on the international and national tourism streets.

The city’s natural settings and good climate will guarantee breathtaking selfies. Walk the streets of the colourful Bo-Kaap and take in the malay culture and beautiful scenery or, hitch a cable car ride to the top of table mountain that will award you an overlooking view of the entire city. See what I mean about breath-taking selfies being guaranteed?!

If mini road trips are your thing, you can drive along Chapman’s peak and stop at Hout Bay, one of my personal favourites. You can book a Robben Island Tour or even plan a visit to the Cape point vineyard.

Still not sold?  Perhaps the fact that Cape Town is the seafood hub of South Africa and is home to the infamous Charly’s Bakery, may change your mind. It certainly adds brownie points to my list.

South Africa is a diverse, multi-cultured place and has so much to offer. These really are just some of my personal, memorable activities that you and yours can experience but assured, there is so much more that you can do. Most cities have tour, Double-Decker buses that you can hop on, to see some of the most popular tourist attractions in each city, so you’re welcome to inquire about those.

Affordable flights,the person you love and a country filled with romantic cities…what are you waiting for?

|This post is in collaboration with TravelStart | All pictures are sourced from Google.

Love and light always, from just an ordinary girl.

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #39

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way

~ unknown 

Whilst there’s many dads who are non existent, today we celebrate the fathers who are present in their kids lives, the ones that go far and beyond to do and be better. 

Today I celebrate my father who is my guiding light. I started writing this post late lastnight, my dad wasn’t home yet, neither was he out with his friends. He was busy worshiping our creator at the mosque…at that time! I knew that I needed to finish this post as a small token of honour and appreciation. 

Braemar Amos, my dad

You see my father is the best, I know it may seem biased because all girls are generally for their dads and all think that their fathers are the best, rightfully so. 

But here’s why I say mine is. My father is the perfect example of what a Muslim should be; flaw-filled but always striving to do and be better in terms of character. 

As old as I am, he still is my provider, my protector, my counselor, my confidant, my therapist, my guide, my example, my teacher. He still is my favourite soccer player, my movie date partner and sometimes my frenemy.

He is so bold yet so humble, my dad does tons of community work in our area. He makes time to visit and look after the elders in our community and also has such a playful yet impactful relationship with the youth. He makes me strive to do to more for others… what better example could I possibly need? 

He literally makes lives easier, during the week he will clean and do our washing, he will go out of his way to ensure that he’s family is always #1, that we’re comfortable and happy even if it may tire him. 

He is so fit 🙈at 53 he still plays soccer every Saturday and trains during the week ( this is one thing I could not follow suite with hahahah) 

2016 soccer ⚽️ presentation
Dad at a ⚽️ presentation
Dad at a ⚽️ tournament
 

My fathers dedication to his faith is one of the most admirable things about him, he ensures he answers the call to prayer 5times a day, at his age, he is still learning to read Arabic and still attends madressa to learn more. God is really the greatest! 

He is the perfect grand dad to my nieces , takes time to do the little things that make their little hearts happy, be it tickles, movies, outings etc.

Dad with his grand babies

He tries his best To honour my mother and that is such a beautiful thing to witness! Because she is a queen and he knows that. Witnessing him love and respect and honour her is a perfect example to us as his daughters because we know what not to settle for.

My 👑 and 👸

He is just an all round amazing dad and if he knew I published this, it would probably upset him because he’s that humble in all he does. I always get told after taking a picture of him “don’t put that on FACEBUCK” 🤣Yeap technology and him aren’t friends! #bless


So Daddy, words will never be able to thank you enough for the role you play in my life. Always there to push me when I’m struggling and there to catch me when I’m about to fall. 

You are a Muslim personified, you teach me that it’s ok not to be perfect but that I should always persevere to be better in character for the sake of my creator and nobody else. 

You teach me that I should want for my brother and neighbors all that I want for myself. You teach me that helping others is an obligation and not just a thing to do. You teach me to have courage and stand for what’s right even when it may not be fruitful and you teach me to be kind.

May the almighty bless you with a long , happy and healthy life so that you can continue doing the amazing work that you so wonderfully do, may he make it so that one day I could be nearly as impactful as you are inshallah ( by the will and permission of Allah). May all your hearts desires be fulfilled because I know they’re all pure. May Allah always be your guide and may he always help you with every difficulty you face. Aaameen 

Happy daddy’s day to all the amazing dads out there! We need you. 

Love, light and appreciation from just an ordinary girl 

community work, Love, life & everything's else in between

Are we really cursed? 

Exactly a year since I posted Coloureds: a cursed nation

Has anything changed since? Is this year that passed testimony to the fact that we are one of the overlooked nations!

Yeah hey, I pretty much still feel like we are but as I said then, I still try to push forward and focus on the positives. I still have my conversations with God because he is the most merciful and the most compassionate. 

If you haven’t read last years piece, take a read on the link quoted above and let me know your thoughts 

community work, Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

I’m not a terrorist but you might be one. 


So I was recently browsing through facebook and I came accross a beautiful post on the Manchester United fan page. It basically was wishing all their Muslim supporters a Ramadan mubarak. 

I thought it was such a beautiful thing for them to do especially in this time that their city is facing … that was until I read the comments. 

It was absolutely appalling at the extent of hate some people have for my faith, Islam. And please don’t ask me ” can you blame them” coz here’s my response to that. 

I am Muslim, it does not mean that I am a terrorist or that I condone terrorist acts. Sheesh! When did we ever depend on media to think for us? Yet these days, media says jump and we’re all screaming “how high”

Logic people… The Muslim population makes for almost 25% of the worlds population. Get that? A QUATER of earths population… one in every four people if we had to narrow it down.

If we all really were terrorists, I’m sure the world population would seize to exist by now because if we killed 3 or four others with us then boom. Population is gone. Kapoot….

…last time I checked, the world was very much a place filled with the human kind and moreso over populated in some places.
When you hear these horrid stories about kids going missing , being raped and gruesomely murdered ( You know the ones we come across daily when listening to the news or browsing social media, the ones we been going in frenzys for on social media, the gruesome murders in Capetown, PE, JHB and KZN), yes, those ones. Majority of the perpetrators of these horrid acts, belong to religions other than Islam.

Does this then make it Ok for us to call out christians , hindu’s and other faiths and refer to them as terrorists? Because I can assure you kidnapping , raping and murdering are all acts of terrorism.
Ofcause not right? Because only Muslims are terrorists…yes?Or, the logical thinkers would agree that we can’t do that because we cannot judge or blame a religion for the doings of one man. 

Here’s my 2c piece: Wake up and stop being sheep.

If you really want to judge, I will encourage you to learn about the faith and then challenge the facts. In fact, Anything that you want to pass judgement on, you should ALWAYS learn the facts first. Mainstream media wants you to believe what they want you to believe. 

As a 20 something year old Muslim female in South Africa, it is appalling to see how grown adults are so easily influenced. The so many freedoms that we have available, narrow down very quickly thanks to society and their double standards. It’s sad to say,  but we don’t have societies looking to build us ( the teens and young adults) up, if anything , if you don’t look like them, act like them, or follow their religion… you’re pretty much doomed. They will strive to break you. 


Sad times indeed but I still choose to mainly focus on the positives of our current situation. 

Whilst majority of the people are just messed up, I firmly believe that there are tons of good people out there. It is those very people that give me hope. And I will be the first to say that they don’t all come from my faith. I know some amazing Christian, Hindus, Tamils and even Jews. All of a kind nature, looking to help with no condition.
So yes, I am Muslim and no,  I’m no terrorist. You may just as well be a terrorists if you terrorise followers of  the Islamic faith based on acts that individuals play out… so whilst you pointing a finger, know there’s four pointing back at ya. 


Feelings, very indepth feelings of just an ordinary Muslim girl

community work, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal, sports

Our coloured boy makes history 

A few weeks ago I posted up some of my feelings around being coloured and how we are so marginalized for everything in this country, you can click Here to read the post if you haven’t read it  as yet.

Wayde Van Niekerk, the 24 year old Coloured from Cape Town, broke the Olympic world record for the 2016 men’s 400m race, finishing off in a striking 43.03 seconds.


I don’t personally know Wayde but this achievement brought so much of joy to my heart, my family, my community and my entire race. I’ve witnessed coloureds all over the country update their profile pictures and status updates, singing praises and making memes. I have witnessed hope and positivity; things I haven’t seen in us for a very long time. 

Congratulations Wayde! You have evoked confidence and hope in your people. 

What was alarming though was that coloureds are being gunned down on social media with a whole lot of hate speech and with comments like “race done matter, he’s South African” or ” why are yourl so excited now that a coloured has won” and more.

Well this is what I have to say all of you people… 

You can’t tell us in a country where we have to constantly tick a race box whenever we apply for anything that race don’t matter! 

I, personally celebrate victory irrespective of race, I celebrated Luvo’s achievement but I will not lie and say that Waydes achievement didn’t feel like it was closer to home for me because it did feel closer to home.

To see a young coloured boy make it and not just make it but break world records brings hope to me. A coloured  role model for our kids who only see drugs, gangs and violence. 

It is inspirational for my people and every other race but so much more for my people because we are often handed a raw deal and even with that he has risen above it and has gone beyond… So I can’t understand what the problem is! 

When we voiced up against the minister of sport not giving Wayde an official welcome home after winning a gold medal in Beijing last year, don’t know what I’m talking about? Click Here to read more… There was no hype created, most people didn’t even know who he was or what he had just achieved but we as coloureds in other parts of the country were sharing  and making posts go viral… demanding answers and demanding that he gets the publicity he deserved. 


Where was the rest of the country? What happened to “he’s South African” then? Why weren’t the rest of the country interested in him then or the minister of Sports giving him his official welcome home? Why didn’t media houses think it was something huge to cover well I will leave that for you to ponder over.

So yes, we all would love to live in a country where race doesn’t matter but until processes and legislation changes…unfortunately race will always matter.

We are grateful that the nation is celebrating this victory because Wayde deserves that and so much more but please leave our people to enjoy this as much as we deserve too. 

It really isn’t a crime to show your love and support without insulting a Bushie you know! 

And well that’s all I have to say and once again , congratulations to Wayde and the South African Olympic Team. 


Posted by just an ordinary Coloured girl.