community work, Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Gender equality: a social norm or still an issue?

I was asked to comment on this topic for Tabloid Media newspaper.

Take a read by clicking Here and scrolling to page 10 of 16.

I would love to have your views on gender equality and how it should be viewed in this day and age.

Love and light always!

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community work, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #43

They say that the greatest emotional need of man kind is to feel appreciated. I came accross this quote and I can see why!  I believe in it’s truth! 

“Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly”

~ Tony Robbins 

How often do WE EXPECT people to do things for us before we feel obliged to say thank you, or to show appreciation? 

If their actions don’t meet our expectation, sorry. Tough! We disregard their attempts and in some instances throw a couple of insults their way. Totally disregarding their efforts. ( I’m guilty of this sometimes)

It becomes so easy to overlook their efforts because all we care about is “I” and “me”. Buggar them or what they feel right? 

We tend to show appreciation on condition. On condition of material gain and superficial standards. We often feel entitled like somebody always owes us something, it’s actually revolting when you think of it. 

I always say, that our generation doesn’t know about fixing things; we don’t know about peservering and going after the things that actually matter. Hear me out, the minute we feel something is “broken” we’re quick to toss it out ... because we don’t know how to appreciate. I see it everyday, failing relationships, ruthless behavior, vandalizing, kids absconding school… the list is endless.

These days we appreciate things and use people. For as long as we’re gaining, we all good. Right?

I often ask myself where we have gone wrong! Why must we wait to gain before we can express gratitude? Why cant we be fulfilled with the little things in life and the small kind gestures people do, whether it is for us or our communities at large? 

It’s so easy to rather find fault in each other, than identify and appreciate the good within us all. Then we die, and suddenly the flowers, well wishes, memories and gratitude start flooding in, too late if you ask me!

This is why I believe in today’s quote so much. Imagine a world where we appreciate people and use things instead? Saying please and thank you and sincerely meaning it? Letting our loved ones know how we appreciate the good things that they do, as opposed to constantly harping on the not so good and the things that irk us?

If we can get this sentiment right and raise our little humans in the same fashion, you won’t get as much failing relationships, vandalizing of community buildings or even kids absconding school.  They will learn to appreciate every opportunity awarded to them…. gaining knowledge and then power and since they are our future, imagine how our world can change? The possibilities are endless.

Like everything else, it starts with you and I. My person and I have an appreciation session once a week, where we tell each other the things we’re appreciated in that week and we say our thank you’s. I swear, that feeling of being appreciated and expressing appreciation is better than any high that any drug can give.

Wrapping this up, I would just like to sincerely thank each and every one of you for the constant support. I would not be motivated to continue striving each day if it weren’t for your kind words, time and daily support. I appreciate it and I appreciate you. 

Let’s be like pinky and the brain and start changing the world! Because remember, the world owes us sh%t!


L&L, from just an ordinary girl  

community work, Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

I’m not a terrorist but you might be one. 


So I was recently browsing through facebook and I came accross a beautiful post on the Manchester United fan page. It basically was wishing all their Muslim supporters a Ramadan mubarak. 

I thought it was such a beautiful thing for them to do especially in this time that their city is facing … that was until I read the comments. 

It was absolutely appalling at the extent of hate some people have for my faith, Islam. And please don’t ask me ” can you blame them” coz here’s my response to that. 

I am Muslim, it does not mean that I am a terrorist or that I condone terrorist acts. Sheesh! When did we ever depend on media to think for us? Yet these days, media says jump and we’re all screaming “how high”

Logic people… The Muslim population makes for almost 25% of the worlds population. Get that? A QUATER of earths population… one in every four people if we had to narrow it down.

If we all really were terrorists, I’m sure the world population would seize to exist by now because if we killed 3 or four others with us then boom. Population is gone. Kapoot….

…last time I checked, the world was very much a place filled with the human kind and moreso over populated in some places.
When you hear these horrid stories about kids going missing , being raped and gruesomely murdered ( You know the ones we come across daily when listening to the news or browsing social media, the ones we been going in frenzys for on social media, the gruesome murders in Capetown, PE, JHB and KZN), yes, those ones. Majority of the perpetrators of these horrid acts, belong to religions other than Islam.

Does this then make it Ok for us to call out christians , hindu’s and other faiths and refer to them as terrorists? Because I can assure you kidnapping , raping and murdering are all acts of terrorism.
Ofcause not right? Because only Muslims are terrorists…yes?Or, the logical thinkers would agree that we can’t do that because we cannot judge or blame a religion for the doings of one man. 

Here’s my 2c piece: Wake up and stop being sheep.

If you really want to judge, I will encourage you to learn about the faith and then challenge the facts. In fact, Anything that you want to pass judgement on, you should ALWAYS learn the facts first. Mainstream media wants you to believe what they want you to believe. 

As a 20 something year old Muslim female in South Africa, it is appalling to see how grown adults are so easily influenced. The so many freedoms that we have available, narrow down very quickly thanks to society and their double standards. It’s sad to say,  but we don’t have societies looking to build us ( the teens and young adults) up, if anything , if you don’t look like them, act like them, or follow their religion… you’re pretty much doomed. They will strive to break you. 


Sad times indeed but I still choose to mainly focus on the positives of our current situation. 

Whilst majority of the people are just messed up, I firmly believe that there are tons of good people out there. It is those very people that give me hope. And I will be the first to say that they don’t all come from my faith. I know some amazing Christian, Hindus, Tamils and even Jews. All of a kind nature, looking to help with no condition.
So yes, I am Muslim and no,  I’m no terrorist. You may just as well be a terrorists if you terrorise followers of  the Islamic faith based on acts that individuals play out… so whilst you pointing a finger, know there’s four pointing back at ya. 


Feelings, very indepth feelings of just an ordinary Muslim girl

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Ugly?

What is ugly? Who is ugly? Is it a thing? Something you do? Something you eat or drink? 

How does one define ugly, how ironic, because I think the word ugly should only be used to describe itself ; the word ugly.

In a society that is becoming more westernized . We have some how forgotten to focus and see the beauty in things and people. It’s a culture steering us to see how we can use people and love things. It’s superficial and it is fake. It pressurizes the weak to feed into a control system. To look a certain way, act a certain , speak a certain way and it forces one to lose their identity, their reason for existence. It forces one to loose their “x” factor. I mean we are meant to excel and so well, just not to excel or do better than the powers that be right?

Girls thriving to be seen as those on the cover magazines or on Tv. If you don’t look like them, or don’t act like them then you’re ugly? I call #BS!

Who has given anybody the right to even use that word, especially on others. Can somebody explain to me how ugliness is defined or measured? I am so eager to know.

I think if you use the word ugly on people, it would be best suited to describe you as well.

Guys! We really need to start making an effort to appreciate people for who they are and not what they can do for us. Physical appearances should not have the power and impact that it has been granted. It is all temporary. The quicker we learn and accept this, the quicker we can teach our kids this.

I think I need to research where this word was derived from. 

Happy hump day beautiful people!

personal

Life’s clearly not only about “turning up” …it is what it is and this struggle is very much real.

image

Today’s post was meant to be about ” Kendrick Lamar” and then about “Does true love really exist?” Until….

I Got news that a very good friend of my baby brothers got stabbed today at an event held annually, called “Durban day”….

talks happen and the reason came up as “gang related ”

GANG RELATED??? Like where did all of this begin? How did once-innocent kids grow up to be such monsters. No matter what…nobody has the right to take life. GANG RELATED…I’m still stuck on that page…and  at 19? 20? Lol something is seriously going wrong!

Im sitting here and for some reason this is affecting me more than I actually expected. My heart bleeds… For that mother who has to receive the news that her son’s gone. That this morning when she said goodbye…it was her last goodbye .

My hearts bleeds for that brother.  Who now doesn’t have anybody to aspire to…who doesn’t have his “big bro” around anymore who now , at his tender age of 15 has to be strong and suck it up and deal coz his the only “man” at home.

My heart bleeds for the person that stabbed this boy…if only they were wise enough to know ” you reap what u sew”. My heart bleeds for our community. Our Coloured communities… where all hope and dreams are being stripped away by silly gang violence. Drugs and alcohol.

I yearn to just put it right. To physically do something so no other life has to go out this way…sad part is…it isn’t something that can be fixed overnight….

There’s so many questions I have and I can’t seem to find the answers but what I did figure is that  It’s time we start seriously praying and taking action.

the power lies within each of us. The change starts with each of us…I guess. To learn to practice tolerance. To learn to curb our anger.  To learn to pray and trust in God . To learn our religions so in turn we learn our morals. Values. Ettiquite and moral obligations. It’s time we teach our selves how to love our neighbours!

Its Time we become better role models to our kids. Men…stick around and be there and guide and protect your family! Women, gain ur respect back and act in dignified manners…and stop this eish of home breaking …but start supporting and loving ur man, encourage and motivate him.. take back your title of being the “head of your home”…For a child that grows up into a family of love and structure…wouldn’t take to killing people to Be accepted. Wanted and needed and we don’t have to be qualified to understand this.

…life’s clearly not only about “turning up”

If we begin with our selves. Our kids will learn from our actions. And their kids from them and  so on and so on and no matter how much our culture gets westernised. . . This manner and character traits will remain deeply embedded within.

Our communities will be stronger and will unite at once and boys losing their lives will be about one of the least things we’d need to worry about. Is this an utopian idea? I can’t help but see the sense …it about time we assume accountability.

May God be the strength to all of those affected and accept Montis soul as one of his.

And to my brother … I’m so proud of you! For not taking up that life. At 19…you still a child at heart and may it remain like that always.

Not a good way to start the week ahead 😦 but this is what it is

Posted from Just an ordinary girl