Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Coloureds: A product of rape they say

My heritage |images sourced from google|

Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.

I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.

But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.

I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.

I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.

I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?

I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.

But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.

Really?!

Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.

Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?

We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?

Well this is what I have to say.

Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.

Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.

You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.

Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.

I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!

Love and light always fam

From just an ordinary girl

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community work, Love, life & everything's else in between

Are we really cursed? 

Exactly a year since I posted Coloureds: a cursed nation

Has anything changed since? Is this year that passed testimony to the fact that we are one of the overlooked nations!

Yeah hey, I pretty much still feel like we are but as I said then, I still try to push forward and focus on the positives. I still have my conversations with God because he is the most merciful and the most compassionate. 

If you haven’t read last years piece, take a read on the link quoted above and let me know your thoughts 

community work, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

An open letter to society

To whom it may concern 

This letter is really just vent how hard you make this for somebody who is really trying to just live as a human being. 

Have you ever stepped out of your little world to see how things are from other people’s perspective? Or are you becoming like history’s oppressors and is only concerned about things that benefit you or your people. 

Everything you read, see or hear about these days is race-related. Specifically about black and white and all else in between doesn’t matter quite frankly. 

In 2017 this is still a thing. God, we need you! 

History says that this land we are in belonged to the koi San-the bushman, not the African. But I mean that counts for jack right? We can surely be selective in what we believe to sell our reasons, battle or struggle and make it that more dramatic. 

Since we playing this race card, let’s be real for a second. 
You see White and African people forget that us coloured and Indians were oppressed and also fought for all things fair. But then we get slapped in the face with the whole ” majority/minority” card. Lol. Yeah it means nothing. We not fighting for equality for all, or that all people should be given a fair shot at things considering all people fought back then, 

No!

We’re fighting for our own people. Which is actually pathetic in my opinion. Your people. My people. Their people. Wrong! We are Gods people. 

All you ever hear in this race battle is black people this, white people that. back and forth. Selective quotes from history or selective people who fought the struggle are praised and celebrated. The others just don’t matter. 

Why are we doing this? I’m finding it so hard to get answers to these questions. Why aren’t we being real if we really say we fighting for equality? 

Maybe, just maybe if we decide to be real and fair for once; practice the things we really ask for to be for everybody and not just our own people, then maybe things will come right ? Am I silly for thinking this? 

Can we not see that by being racist and pulling out the card that we ourselves are becoming the very thing or people that we despise? 

When is this going to be a fight for humanity and not race? When are the fields going to be leveled out? 

When are white people, black people, coloured people, Indian people going to jump off their high horses and see that each person walks their own struggle in the journey that God has put before them? Am I silly for thinking that this is how adults should be thinking?

Racism was created to divide. I firmly believe that. But How do we expect to move forward and rid this toxic plague that has been around for decades when all we do is want to stay in this mindset? For intelligent people , a concept as simple as this can’t be grasped? Impossible! I say it’s because we choose not be rid of this mindset. 

Our future generations have a shot at being set free of this toxic thing. But we won’t allow it will we? We will destroy it for them too; making us just as bad, if not worse than the oppressors.

As a 20 something year old female who is taking a shot at this thing called life and is trying to do the right thing always. Like loving and caring for people and humanity irrespective of race, color or creed, it really is a spirit damper when all you ever reminded of is this black and white war. And how you just not good enough to be fought for. Just because you are not white or black enough. Isn’t it sad? I think it is. 

You then attempt getting closer to God because that is a constant reminder that we are all equal but then you get folk who manipulate that too and twist the morals and values we’re taught to make it okay to hate… 

“in order to forgive, the person who wronged you must first acknowledge what they did” 

what BS? Where have you heard of such. It’s ludacris! But this is what I’ve heard people, grown adults, tell their kids! Good Gawsh we nowhere near the end are we?

Forgiveness is for yourself not for the next person. That’s what i was taught and what I firmly believe because I’ve practiced it. He who does wrong will be questioned and judged but by God. It isn’t our jobs to do so. Why are we so concerned with pointing fingers? Can someone explain this to me? The fact that I’m writing this open letter makes me guilty of this too, but really, I am just trying to get answers to open my perspective because maybe I’m missing something.

I may never understand the struggle of our people because I wasn’t personally around during the regime, but neither were any of the people my age. So yes , it is okay to be sympathetic and to empathize but surely we cannot let that consume us?  Why is our generation filled with hatred for other races? Why is our generation used as puppets ?  I can tell you why, because it was instilled and taught to us. That’s why.

Can we not see that by being racist we are feeding into the plan of the oppressors? That this is what they want, to devide us so that they can control us? When we learn that God is in control and put our faith and trust in him alone, perhaps then things will come right I suppose. 

I’m once again left confused in this constant battle of black and white wars. I almost feel that if you belong to any race in between, you will never matter to the masses. You will be invisible. Yet we want to hate our oppressors. Talk about double standards. 

Freeing ourselves from this mental oppression starts with you and I; making a conscious decision to see people as people irrespective of their colour or race. It isn’t going to be easy but it isn’t impossible. We have the future in our hands. We are birthing the next generation. For their sake, please can we not teach and instill racism within them and become oppressors by doing so? Because then this vicious cycle will just continue. 

Is this possible? 

I really hope it is because I surely don’t want my kids feeling the way I am feeling and having them take to pen and paper or fingers to keyboard to try and express themselves  just because they don’t want this venom to remain and brew within them. 

I’m probably going to be judged for this but to be quite frank, I couldn’t be bothered. It’s things that need to be said and questions that need to be answered.

Signed,

A confused and concerned 20 something year old human being.

community work, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal, sports

Our coloured boy makes history 

A few weeks ago I posted up some of my feelings around being coloured and how we are so marginalized for everything in this country, you can click Here to read the post if you haven’t read it  as yet.

Wayde Van Niekerk, the 24 year old Coloured from Cape Town, broke the Olympic world record for the 2016 men’s 400m race, finishing off in a striking 43.03 seconds.


I don’t personally know Wayde but this achievement brought so much of joy to my heart, my family, my community and my entire race. I’ve witnessed coloureds all over the country update their profile pictures and status updates, singing praises and making memes. I have witnessed hope and positivity; things I haven’t seen in us for a very long time. 

Congratulations Wayde! You have evoked confidence and hope in your people. 

What was alarming though was that coloureds are being gunned down on social media with a whole lot of hate speech and with comments like “race done matter, he’s South African” or ” why are yourl so excited now that a coloured has won” and more.

Well this is what I have to say all of you people… 

You can’t tell us in a country where we have to constantly tick a race box whenever we apply for anything that race don’t matter! 

I, personally celebrate victory irrespective of race, I celebrated Luvo’s achievement but I will not lie and say that Waydes achievement didn’t feel like it was closer to home for me because it did feel closer to home.

To see a young coloured boy make it and not just make it but break world records brings hope to me. A coloured  role model for our kids who only see drugs, gangs and violence. 

It is inspirational for my people and every other race but so much more for my people because we are often handed a raw deal and even with that he has risen above it and has gone beyond… So I can’t understand what the problem is! 

When we voiced up against the minister of sport not giving Wayde an official welcome home after winning a gold medal in Beijing last year, don’t know what I’m talking about? Click Here to read more… There was no hype created, most people didn’t even know who he was or what he had just achieved but we as coloureds in other parts of the country were sharing  and making posts go viral… demanding answers and demanding that he gets the publicity he deserved. 


Where was the rest of the country? What happened to “he’s South African” then? Why weren’t the rest of the country interested in him then or the minister of Sports giving him his official welcome home? Why didn’t media houses think it was something huge to cover well I will leave that for you to ponder over.

So yes, we all would love to live in a country where race doesn’t matter but until processes and legislation changes…unfortunately race will always matter.

We are grateful that the nation is celebrating this victory because Wayde deserves that and so much more but please leave our people to enjoy this as much as we deserve too. 

It really isn’t a crime to show your love and support without insulting a Bushie you know! 

And well that’s all I have to say and once again , congratulations to Wayde and the South African Olympic Team. 


Posted by just an ordinary Coloured girl.