Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

#DFH #67: I found you

Dear Future Husband… I found you.

About two years ago I started the dear future husband thread… putting out everything I had wished for in a man and everything I’d do once I found him.

Today, I wake up a married woman. Junaid and I have known each other since we were little… but only started dating in December. Him, just like I, was married prior and so we knew exactly what we wanted.

We knew that it was meant to be and planned to get married in November…. but God’s timing prevailed.

We discussed and decided we’d get nikkad before our holy month of Ramadan and literally planned a wedding in about two days.

My dad did my draping, my mum, aunties and cousin the cooking, my cuz and I the running around and setting up and boy oh boy was it so fulfilling.

I have never experienced this amount of happiness and contentment. He is everything I’ve asked for in this thread and more and sometimes I’m in awe of how God answered my prayers till the last T crossed and I dotted.

My family never fails me and this just increased my gratitude towards them for all they’ve done.

Whilst I’m sayin good bye to this thread, I look forward to the journey ahead.

May this thread be a testimony that God listens, that one should not just settle and that patience is indeed a virtue.

Dear husband… I love you and look forward to spending the rest of my days with you.

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Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

I owe my freedom to…

This morning I had a conversation that really made me sit and think about life, my purpose, blessings, experiences and then also who made it all possible;

  • God
  • My parents
  • Circle of friends and family

Having celebrated freedom day yesterday, I feel this post is fitting.

I have no shame telling people my story; not because I want or expect pity or even to bad mouth anybody, but to create hope in knowing that with prayer and the right people you allow in, you can overcome any and all adversities.

I fell pregnant, married the love of my life at the time, sh%t went south, was abused, lost my son at birth, lost my gran a few months after, got cheated on, got a divorce, lost my other gran and all in the space of a year and few.

GOD

When I returned home, I returned dignityless, broke as broke could be and with buckets full of emotion and questions and hurts and pain. I questioned God, everyone who knows me knows I love children and that my love is unconditional… why would he take those two things away from me. I was okay with being abused and unhappy, I was okay with making God and my parents unhappy; as long as I was with him and had my son, I was okay. Can you begin to imagine our absurd that is?

Truth is, lots of women feel and think that way.

Having nothing else to do, I started finding God, researched religions, I needed to know about this power that could do such, at his will. And trust, it was the best decision of my life.

I am born Muslim, but today I sit here saying that I choose to be Muslim. Upon reading and researching, I began to pray, at early hours of the morning. I would cry and ask God to pacify my heart because the pain was unbearable. I hid it well, maybe because of pride or even embarrassment? But I hid it well.

My perspective changed and I read about how babies who pass away will intercede for their mums on judgement day, I learnt that those who are favoured by God, are tested… I mean look at all the prophets and what they endured? I learned how women are valued in Islam and how we should be treated, and so I started expecting nothing less.

I became stronger and started seeing my blessings, my courage-meter started rising and rebuilding and reforming myself was what I began to do. Perhaps losing all that I lost, forced me to get closer to God; he is a jealous God after all. Perhaps it strengthened me to leave the toxic environment that I and him (my ex hubby) created. Perhaps Mika’il was an angel sent to save me from myself, so that I could find my purpose and fulfill it….

PARENTS

The beings we often take for granted. I come from an average background. Whilst we weren’t as poor as others I know, there were days we went with the bare minimum and everything we owned was worked for; sweat and tears literally.

Part of high school fees were sponsored and I remember taking lemon creams for a cake sale (in a private school with rich brats) because that’s all my dad could afford, they obviously pushed it aside because it weren’t as good for them as their novelty cakes.I couldn’t care less about them but felt more loved than anything, because MY DAD took his last and bought that for me.

My parents gave my siblings and I the best they had @ 100%… selfless, imperfect beings that were going through their own adversities but put our needs first. They made sure that we grew up with sound education and religion knowledge especially because they couldn’t teach us themselves… they only knew so much.

I look at them both today; Mum studied and is now a senior manager for one of SAs leading retailers and my dad, so religious inclined its unbelievable. My mum worked as a casual worker for EIGHT years before she became permanent. Yet she persevered. My dad was all things naughty, he drank, drugged, was affiliated with one of the most popular gangs in Durban but when my sister was born, he began his journey. Leaving school in grade 8, he now works independently as a tiler, being his own boss and growing in character and knowledge day by day.

With these two as an example… how could I quit? Sure we had and still have problems, but all families do. My parents are real-life examples of how perseverance, hard work and prayer can pull you out of any situation. And so I aspire to be just like them.

⭕️ OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY

My mum always told us to choose our friends wisely, back then it made no sense. Today, as 28 year old…it makes perfect sense. Science says that you become like the five closest people to you. Religion says that you should be wary of the company you keep… surely Mum, science and God cannot be wrong. You see, humans feed off each other in a non-parasitic way. We feed off energies. If you’re around negative, non-spiritual, uninspired folk…you will soon become just like them. On the flip side, if you affiliate yourself with people who are positive,warriors, those who know God and practice their faith each day and those who aspire to do many great things… it’s only a matter of time before you become just like that too.

I have had amazing people in and around my circle over the years. Ive had the best religious examples around me and I’ve had the most goal-driven people in my space. There was no way they were going to allow me to cave permanently.

They encouraged me when giving up was the easiest thing to do after days, weeks and months with internal battles and battling the trauma and adversities I been battling for so long. I was encouraged to pray and get closer to my creator, I was encouraged to re-wire my brain to look at the positives in every situation. I was pushed to set goals and boundaries for myself.

Today I sit here, looking back at yesterday; freedom day, and pondering over who was responsible for my freedom and they are:

  • God
  • My folks
  • My circle

Through my adversities I was reminded how highly blessed and favored I was and still am.

It’s 2018, 4-5 years after everything has happened and whilst it was not and still isn’t an easy road. I am way better off from where I started. I have achieved the littlest of things that made the hugest difference and I continue soaring and fighting on like the warrior God made me to be.

I am not where I want to be, I’m not Gods most loyal servant, I’m far from perfect. I’m miles away from financial freedom. But I am free. I am still. I am persevering and My faith is unshakable.

Love and light always; from just an ordinary girl

*all pictures are sourced from google*

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#DFH #65

Dear future husband,

I often ponder about how we would spend New Year’s Eve.

I know prayer is important; so I’d want us to spend some part of it praying for the year behind and ahead of us.

But for the rest, would we be out with friends? Or at home, having the time of our lives with a two-man party, reflecting and having a meaningful convo, then cooking up a storm to some of our favorite jams 🎶 and then 💃🏻 🕺till we can’t anymore? Would we have our own “Idols” or “SA got talent” amongst us two 🎤 or with a couple of friends over just being cray cray.

Or would we jet set to Cape Town and parade on long street, taking in all of the people , Malay choirs and then get ready to watch the klopse over the next couple of days?

I’d imagine that anything with you by my side would be magical 🦄 ✨

Dear future husband, are you by any chance close by?

Awaiting your arrival

Your future wife 💋

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #39

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way

~ unknown 

Whilst there’s many dads who are non existent, today we celebrate the fathers who are present in their kids lives, the ones that go far and beyond to do and be better. 

Today I celebrate my father who is my guiding light. I started writing this post late lastnight, my dad wasn’t home yet, neither was he out with his friends. He was busy worshiping our creator at the mosque…at that time! I knew that I needed to finish this post as a small token of honour and appreciation. 

Braemar Amos, my dad

You see my father is the best, I know it may seem biased because all girls are generally for their dads and all think that their fathers are the best, rightfully so. 

But here’s why I say mine is. My father is the perfect example of what a Muslim should be; flaw-filled but always striving to do and be better in terms of character. 

As old as I am, he still is my provider, my protector, my counselor, my confidant, my therapist, my guide, my example, my teacher. He still is my favourite soccer player, my movie date partner and sometimes my frenemy.

He is so bold yet so humble, my dad does tons of community work in our area. He makes time to visit and look after the elders in our community and also has such a playful yet impactful relationship with the youth. He makes me strive to do to more for others… what better example could I possibly need? 

He literally makes lives easier, during the week he will clean and do our washing, he will go out of his way to ensure that he’s family is always #1, that we’re comfortable and happy even if it may tire him. 

He is so fit 🙈at 53 he still plays soccer every Saturday and trains during the week ( this is one thing I could not follow suite with hahahah) 

2016 soccer ⚽️ presentation
Dad at a ⚽️ presentation
Dad at a ⚽️ tournament
 

My fathers dedication to his faith is one of the most admirable things about him, he ensures he answers the call to prayer 5times a day, at his age, he is still learning to read Arabic and still attends madressa to learn more. God is really the greatest! 

He is the perfect grand dad to my nieces , takes time to do the little things that make their little hearts happy, be it tickles, movies, outings etc.

Dad with his grand babies

He tries his best To honour my mother and that is such a beautiful thing to witness! Because she is a queen and he knows that. Witnessing him love and respect and honour her is a perfect example to us as his daughters because we know what not to settle for.

My 👑 and 👸

He is just an all round amazing dad and if he knew I published this, it would probably upset him because he’s that humble in all he does. I always get told after taking a picture of him “don’t put that on FACEBUCK” 🤣Yeap technology and him aren’t friends! #bless


So Daddy, words will never be able to thank you enough for the role you play in my life. Always there to push me when I’m struggling and there to catch me when I’m about to fall. 

You are a Muslim personified, you teach me that it’s ok not to be perfect but that I should always persevere to be better in character for the sake of my creator and nobody else. 

You teach me that I should want for my brother and neighbors all that I want for myself. You teach me that helping others is an obligation and not just a thing to do. You teach me to have courage and stand for what’s right even when it may not be fruitful and you teach me to be kind.

May the almighty bless you with a long , happy and healthy life so that you can continue doing the amazing work that you so wonderfully do, may he make it so that one day I could be nearly as impactful as you are inshallah ( by the will and permission of Allah). May all your hearts desires be fulfilled because I know they’re all pure. May Allah always be your guide and may he always help you with every difficulty you face. Aaameen 

Happy daddy’s day to all the amazing dads out there! We need you. 

Love, light and appreciation from just an ordinary girl 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #29

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Mother Teresa once said:

If you want to change the world, Go home and love your family.

I came across this quote and it actually got me sitting and self-reflecting. It was for this reason that I had to share it.

The world is moving in a very different direction, a selfish one if I can. It’s moving away from sentimentality and more towards a superficial nature. The dynamic of family is no longer what it used to be and that is such a shame.

How many great memories do we have growing up? Do you think that our kids will have the same?

We often have big dreams in terms of the contributions we want to make to the world, starting up our own businesses, blogs, setting up NGO’s, plans to study or travel even. We spread messages of good will, positivity, love and unity  which is all fantastic, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and kudos to you if you’re doing this because it is needed!

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Question is! do we put that much effort towards the goodwill of our family?

How many times do friends ask for a ride and we’re every ready to jump up and go. Yet, if our siblings or family member’s ask, we complain about fuel… 

How many times, do our folk call and ask us when we’re coming home to visit, and we’re like ” I’ve just been so busy, there’s just no time” yet, let our colleagues ask us to catch a drink and we’re ever ready and time avails itself… 

Or, how many times does your girl or wife ask you to spend some QT (quality time) and you be like “babe, i’m so tired” but minutes later you’re gaming or catching up on social media or better still, let your boys call and say they’re coming  over and the tiredness magically disappears…

Ladies, how many times does your significant other mention things to you but half of the time you don’t hear because you’re too interested in that conversation about Keyshia’s cousin who slept with Keyshia’s man… I hope you’re following me with this.

Doesn’t it make sense? That if we cant love our families, how do we expect to love strangers? 

If we cant appreciate the little things that they do for us, how do we expect to appreciate what the world has to give us? 

If we cant respect the people who we are constantly around, how do we expect to respect people we barely know and if we cant make time for our family, how can we for any other random person?

We have generations and generations which form part of our family trees right? and more that are still to be birthed. So what we do now and how we act now has a huge impact on the people that we will bring into this world right? It’s logic.

Imagine this, we love our families, we appreciate them, we support them , we invest in them and we encourage them. These attributes will get passed down to our kids, and their kids, and their kid’s kids etc. Creating a movement of love and light which we and they will automatically share with the world. If we all did this, don’t you think the world would be a better place? I think so.

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They say that charity starts at home and I agree. The magnitude of a gesture or deed lies in the amount of heart put into it.  So let’s all make an effort to appreciate our parent’s, siblings, cousins, aunt’s, uncles, grandparents a little more than we do now. Make that cup of tea for your mom, kick that ball with your kids or nephews, draw with your nieces, catch a movie or sport with your cousins, have chill sessions with your siblings, go on date nights with your person of honour, call your folk or grand folks every now and then. It starts with you and I.

This quote really touched me and it almost felt like a wake up call because I am guilty of sometimes not loving and appreciating my family as much as I should.  You always hear me preaching about spreading love and light. So this is me beginning to put more of an effort into that and it starting with my family.

An epiphany from just an ordinary girl and that’s all thanks to Mother Teresa ♥️🙏🏼

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Gratitude

It has been one of the toughest weeks of 2017 by far.

Staying afloat and remaining positive has never taken so much out of me. I am however, a firm believer that we all need to have some bad days to sincerely appreciate the good ones 🙂

I am training myself to see the light even when I’m stuck in the middle of what seems to be a never-ending storm. As a result, there are some things that moved me this past week that I really just need to put out there and extend some gratitude for.

Many of you know that I lost my son. Each year, I am overwhelmed by the mothers day messages I receive. The kind words and reassurance that my little soldier is watching over me, always warms my heart. To each and every one of you who took the time out to send me those beautiful messages, I say Thank You and this is from the depths of my heart.

The one wish received however, really touched my heart and will forever remain embedded in my minds’ box of sentimental memories. The wish from my mentee. Many of you would also know that I mentor a beautiful 13 year old little girl at one of the kiddies homes here in Durban. This is done through an absolutely wonderful programme; The Bright Star mentorship programme. This is one of the very many programmes run by the Peace agency. 

You guys should really check the programme out, you can do so by clicking here. You can also check out information on the Peace Agency and other projects linked to them by clicking here. You guys are welcome to comment or message me for more information as well 🙂

I am currently in my second year of mentoring through this programme and you would have seen through  my previous posts just how amazing my mentee is. She made me the most beautiful card with the most heart warming words. God really has a constant way of showing me just how much he loves me. I really feel so privileged being apart of this little one’s life. With each weekly visit, I am constantly fulfilled. #Forevergrateful

I also need to extend my gratitude to my friends, family and significant other. Knowing just how trying this week has been, these guys are always at my side reminding me to keep going, reminding me of God, reminding me that I have been through worse. These guys are always encouraging me and boy oh boy, they never allow me to wallow. I promise you, if it was not for them, I don’t even want to think of the position I would be in and I mean really, what more could a girl possibly ask for? #Mysupportstructureisbetterthanyours

Lastly, my creator. You know how we sometimes have those silent prayers that our hearts whisper but we brush off? yeah those. God always seems to listen and let me know in his own way that he has heard. Me being able to write this post is really only by his will and permission and therefore I have to honor him. #blessedbeyondmeasure

so God, thank you for everything, thank you for my heavenly angel that is there with you, thank you for my mentee and allowing be to be apart of such a phenomenal mentorship programme, thank you for my family, friends and my special person and thank you for never giving up on me. People often ask me how do I remain so grounded and my answer was, is and  will always be: my faith and my God.

So with that done, I will encourage you to give thanks and to purposely remind yourself of all the good things you got going in your life, especially when you have 101 things to complain about. It has worked for me, I am sure it will for you too.

Love and light always,

From just an ordinary girl Xx

 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Reminiscing 

No one will ever understand just how much I miss my nieces. I see them in everything, hear them in random songs, imagine them in every situation. 💔😞

They were my pillars of strength through the darkest times of my life. I got to watch them through all their firsts and it almost softened the blow of me not being able to witness this for my Mik. With them so far, I almost feel like I’m left alone. Who would have ever thought an adult could be so dependent on a minor? I know right! 

I make dua though that I can move past these overwhelming feelings because I know that they have been granted a once in a lifetime opportunity. Got us great and to him we owe all the praise and worship. 

This is something that each of us will have to experience in our lifetime ; the letting go of someone or something close to us. Know that you are not alone (: and seek comfort in knowing that if others can work through, so can we. 

May Allah ta Allah make it easy on us all inshallah ( by His will) and provide us with the strength to cope.