Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

QOTD #75: Blessings on blessings

Today is very emotional day for me, as many of you who have shared my journey with me , would know, I lost my son at birth on this day, five years ago.

I’m getting stronger but it’s certain days that still get the better of me.

Situations have presented themselves forward, which I honestly did not have the patience and energy for and which I have been silent about because sometimes silence is best. But having being such an emotional morning, part of me wanted to react; just to vent so I could focus on celebrating my boy.

My sister said somethings to me that made so much of sense. She firstly reminded me of the person I AM. She then went on to saying

” Sissy, you can’t control what people say about you, but you can control how you react, so continue to react with patience, confidence, God and class”.

When you’ve found your peace. The devil will find ways to steal it. Don’t allow him too.

I was once very hasty and irrational and over the years I worked extremely hard to better myself with the help of my creator and family and a few friends.

I am so blessed with the people in my life, not only do they allow me to be me, flaws and all; they guide me, pick me up and step in when I can’t.

The beautiful messages I received this morning from sister and from my friends and family in support of Miks birthday, from my mum who wakes up to sing for him every year and my dad who will always come to me after and tell me to turn to God and not to cry and then my brother that would console me in his own awkward way, my boy are blessed and are forever grateful and I thank each of you.

To my dearest Lori. Thank you for the surprise visit to Miks grave and the video call and for making it look so beautiful. I couldn’t be there and even with all going on with you, you found it to make time and make a plan to do this for us. I am forever grateful

May God bless each and every one of you who remembered us today with bountiful favour and blessings.

It’s a day that reminded me of some very important lessons and it would never have happened if my angel was not in heaven.

Thank you friends and family and God for the constant support, the reminders and the lessons.

A gratitude post from just an ordinary Mum of angel!

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Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #40

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we live. 

~ Norman Cousins 


Death. A topic none of us, well atleast many of us don’t like to speak about, even though, to me, it should be discussed a lot more. 

With the world we live in, it’s so easy to get consumed and to forget that this life is temporary, it’s just a test. This life was never meant to be permanent. 

This quote resonated so well with me because death is something guaranteed, it’s something we should expect right? Therefore, it cannot be the greatest “loss” of life because in many cases when you lose something, it’s unexpected, you have no warning that you’re going to lose it.

The greatest loss is indeed one where we have the capacity to do what we love and what’s required of us but we don’t, for whatever reason that may be. The greatest loss is losing our heart, or our fire; that passion that we was once had. We lose our mark and become a thing just existing day after day. 

We lose sight of the career goals we once dreamed of. We lose sight of the essence of family and friends and true relations. We lose the kid in us, we forget how to see fun, colour and happiness in everything that we do. We forget the importance of God and our religious and spiritual obligation, we lose our humanity and moral obligations. We get consumed with things that really don’t matter. 

Why? Isn’t that the greatest loss because we have the time, we have the gift of life. We have the opportunity. 

It needs to all change. 


Let’s use our time on this earth to fulfill all of our religious and spiritual obligations and our hearts desires. So that one day when we pass, we would be remembered for just that. 

Life is all about balance, so whilst it’s ok to lose our spark sometime, it’s equally important to reignite that spark again. 

Don’t let that die whilst you’re still alive. If anything, help be the match that reignites the spark back in somebody else. Be purposeful.

May we all strive harder to reignite that spark within and to leave our mark on this earth. 

β™₯️ and πŸ’‘πŸŒˆ and a random πŸ’­ from just an ordinary girl 

*all pictures are courtesy of Google*

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Dear God …πŸ’”

I know that everything happens by your will and I know not to question you. But sometimes I just can’t fathom why some things happen.

This evening I read a story of a mom who lost her son, it brought back all of the emotions that I had when I lost Mika’il and it was at this moment that I knew I probably will never get over losing my son. I write when I’m emotional so if this doesn’t make any sense, please pardon me.

I sit writing this with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I’ve finally faced completing miks baby book. Something I’ve been putting on hold for years. 

Pages from Miks book ❀

I sometimes feel ungrateful when I think of him and cry becAuse you (God) have blessed me in so many ways and i now know just how much you believe in me putting me through all of this and knowing that I will make it through , I’m only saying this because if you knew I wouldn’t make it you wouldn’t have let this happen right? 

I’m sitting here looking at all his ultrasound pictures. My heart is literally breaking into a million pieces yet I am still and remembering all of the logical things to tell myself but I want nothing more than to just punch a wall , or scream and to just break down but then in the same breath I think “what difference would it make” speak about mixed emotions. Is this normal ? What is normal about this God? Is there a “way” us moms supposed to deal with this? I tried forgetting and blocking it all out but that clearly hasn’t helped; I’m sitting here three years later feeling all the pain once again. 

Wouldn’t looking at these make you feel the same way? 

Miks foot print ❀️
Mik sucking his thumb
Facing the πŸŽ₯ for mum
Him resting in peace πŸ’”

Mums who have lost their kids, I don’t know your story and can’t tell you how brave you are if you’re still here reading this; the strength that is you. I still to this day only wonder what he would be like, who he would look like, what his favourite food would have been or where his favourite place to visit would be. I still wonder , till this day, what his favorite toy would have been or how he would look when he just wakes up or what his favourite pjs would be. I still wonder how my life would have been if he were still here. I still wonder.

I can’t tell you what has helped me cope or that things will get better because I’ve pretty much winged getting through these passed three years. 

I can however, tell you that God has faith in you if he is trusting you with this burden. He knows you’re stronger than you think you are. 

I can also tell you that you’re courageous. It’s a pain I don’t think anybody can describe and to beable to just live through day by day takes a hell of a lot.

Dear God , bless the very many mums and dads who have witnessed the loss of their kids. Strengthen them and be their peace. Amen πŸ™πŸΌ 

An emotional post 

From just an ordinary mum 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Dear Mika’il,


Mummy is getting ready to visit your grave. Yeap, it’s finally happening.

Im looking forward to the trip but I am so anxious, almost as though I’m going to be assessed for some huge , dream-come true opportunity that my life depends on. Yeap, that’s the impact you have on my life even without you physically being here.

It hurts me when nobody remembers you or your birthday because you are somebody worth remembering but know that the love I have for you is more than any amount of human love put together on this earth. 

I can’t promise you that I’m not going to cry boy, and I am sorry that iv never visited your grave. I almost feel guilty because it’s almost 3 years since I’ve last been. 

Just know that mummy has been workin on herself and trying to build herself up again, you are always in my thoughts, hearts and prayer and I hope that wherever you are, you get to know this. 

I look forward to traveling, knowing that the trip is all for you. I look forward to talking to you and to cleaning your grave, as though I’m getting you all ready for some great outing lol. I hope that you like your little πŸš— that I’m going to leave for you. I’m not sure if doing that is even a thing because I don’t know how to deal with all of this. But just know that it is all for you. 

I’m gonna wipe my tears away now and embrace my journey. Ma and Pa and your aunties says to tell you that they think of you daily and that they love you, I will tell you when I’m there also. 


See you soon boytjie, so many people are here for mummy that I just had to share all of the love, joy and support you bring to me.

Love, 

Your mummy Xx

An anxious post from just an ordinary mum