Business, Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

I won a quarterly Star Award

The begining

From the first day I walked inside the KZN DH (my employer) offices, I knew I wanted to do great things.

My journey at DH was the start of a new Era for me. Leaving behind a toxic marriage, getting over the death of my son, and two grans; I knew I needed to dust myself off and steer this ship into positive, calmer waters. DH was the begining of that journey.

I’ve worked my behind off, trying to better myself both personally and in my career. And when I heard what a star award was and everything you needed to exude and possess to be nominated or even to win one, I knew I wanted to hold the title of this award. Not for the title itself, but to prove to myself that I am worthy and I possess all the right qualities to keep myself ahead and afloat.

Random info bits

Everyone who knows me, knows that 2013/14 were the toughest years of my life.

What people don’t know is that 2018/19 were even tougher.

Battling health issues, an array personal soul-eating and positive sucking battles, being a student whilst juggling work and personal projects, I found myself working triple time just to stay afloat. This is how I’ve been feeling.

Fighting battles that challenged my spirit, my faith, my character, my identity and almost surrending.

It’s been rough and tough. I’ve never been challenged this much. But I know that you only grow when you’re out of your comfort zone.

The call

Friday, 07 June 2019, I went to get some rest to prep myself for a night of studying. I get a phone call telling me that I’ve won a quarterly Star award. I was in shock. Literally. All I remember was thanking the management team and then crying when I put the phone down.

There were other times I’d deem myself “on top of my game” or “worthy” but of late I’ve been feeling burnt out. Drowning almost. Never in a 1000 Years did I expect that I’d be chosen to win at this point. I mean I knew I’ve been working and working hard. But that’s never been an option; not working hard. I guess with all the negative stuff thats been around me, it felt too good to be true. Like this was my break almost.

What the award means to me

This award is confirmation to myself that I still have so much more fight, so much more passion, so much more to give. It’s God’s way of telling me I am enough and that the devil cannot and will not steal my joy. It’s the universes way of telling me to keep my head up and keep going because I am one of its brightest stars and my shine has not been dulled. It’s my employers way of telling me that my efforts are not unnoticed.

Know this

I’ve never ran from adversity. It’s not in my DNA to. Even when I don’t know it, my body’s natural instinct is to gear up and fight my best fight. I may have been down temporary, but this girl is coming back with a vegence.

Thank you

Thank you to all my team leaders. From my extended hour team to where I’m currently at as a client relationship manager. I could never have gotten this far with out you guys. To my dearest work friends that have now become my family, thank you for always encouraging me and pushing me. To the management team thank you for leading by example and paving the way for us. Thank you for believing in me. For the person who nominated me, thank you for deeming me worthy of your time and of this award. I am forever grateful. To my family and my husband, thank you for never letting me stay down, for never allowing me to throw my own pity party, for always encouraging me. And then last but but least, shukr Allah, for listening to me and putting me through trials and tribulations to teach me the lessons I needed to be taught. Thank you for never giving up on me. I am forever grateful.

Love and light always, from just an ordinary quarterly star award winner ❤️

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Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Slamaat on your 6th birthday Mika’il

Six years. You would have been six years.

I thought time would have healed me abit and by now I’d be abit more stable when your birthday comes… I guess I was wrong. I think time has taught me to keep myself distracted, but on days like this, it’s impossible.

I try to celebrate you, in fact, I celebrate you daily. You have pushed me to be the woman with characteristics of the mother I would have wanted to be to you. Each time I’m In a situation, I think “what example would I be leaving if Mika’il were here”.

Precious child, you have made such an impact in my life. I really thank Allah that he chose me to carry you.

Flashbacks of the day that I lost you came flooding in from 01:05am when my sleep broke this morning.

As much as I trust Allah had different plans for you, I still question if you’d be here if only I had made different decisions or if only I stayed off my feet and rested as I should have.

But anyway, you would have been six today. Lol no guessing that I would have been way more excited than you. You would have also started big school. Gawsh, I don’t think they make phones big enough to house all the photos I’d take of you daily. I often wonder how it would have been; me coming home to help you with homework, teach you. You going to madressa and learning more about your religion. I often wonder what type of questions you’d be asking me.

I often wonder… I do that alot actually.

So on your special day. Know that mum and a whole lot of aunts and uncles, cousins, Junaid and Ma & PA are thinking of you. I know you’re in a much better place my son.

The love I have for you will never die. Till we meet again sweet child.

Slamaat on your sixth heavenly birthday.

Love and light always,

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal, quotes

The truth about every strong woman… Would you love her still?

You watch her do her, as best she can. Fiercely she takes on challenges one after the other; and boy are you drawn to this; her fight.

You study her, the way she walks, talks, smiles, walks into a room and steals the hearts of those around her; turning a dark room into a brightly lit ball of energy.

You admire her courage, her living life to the fullest; you see all of her pictures on social media, checking in with her closest friends, having the time of their lives and you can’t help but want to be apart of it all.

You hear about how fierce she is at the office, how she stands firm for the things she believes in. You love that she speaks her mind, and confidently so and is so passionate about the things and people close to her… and you can’t help but want to be in a closest of circles.

We all know someone like her, don’t we?

But what many don’t know is that you only seewhat she wants you to see.

What you don’t know, is what got her to that point, how many tears she cried to get to a point where she promised herself that she will NEVER depend on anyone else, but herself, for her own happiness.

You don’t know what toughened her and made her Ray Charles to the BS and all that’s superficial around her. You don’t know what broke her only to build her stronger than before.

She wears pain like a pearl necklace around her neck and often that distracts how scared and anxious she really feels inside.

You don’t know what abuse she succumbed that numbed her and hence now she’s living life to the fullest.

You see behind every strong, independent woman, is a story of hurt, pain, anger; struggle. There’s a story of sacrifice and strength.

You see this beautiful Bella but when you’re close enough, the cracks start showing, the anxiety and vulnerability start over flowing. She’s okay in her own because she knows self will never let her down.

Will you still want to befriend or love her then? When she’s not so strong and the cracks become more visible. on some days. Would you still want to be amongst her closest?

She knows strength. She’s TKO’d pain and she’s overcome heartbreak.

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate a strong woman today.

Love and light, from just an ordinary strong woman.