Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Coloureds: A product of rape they say

My heritage |images sourced from google|

Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.

I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.

But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.

I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.

I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.

I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?

I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.

But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.

Really?!

Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.

Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?

We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?

Well this is what I have to say.

Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.

Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.

You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.

Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.

I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!

Love and light always fam

From just an ordinary girl

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community work, Love, life & everything's else in between

Are we really cursed? 

Exactly a year since I posted Coloureds: a cursed nation

Has anything changed since? Is this year that passed testimony to the fact that we are one of the overlooked nations!

Yeah hey, I pretty much still feel like we are but as I said then, I still try to push forward and focus on the positives. I still have my conversations with God because he is the most merciful and the most compassionate. 

If you haven’t read last years piece, take a read on the link quoted above and let me know your thoughts 

community work, personal

Coloureds: A cursed nation?

I sit and write this with a heavy heart. For the 1st time in a very long time im at the brink of hopelessness. Not feeling too proud of being coloured and thats purely ‘coz of the injustices that are constantly forced upon us.

In the apartheid regime, we werent white enough and today, we arent black enough. Its almost as if we are blamed for the previous white leaders having affairs with their domestics. How evil! How unjust. How cruel.

Coloured youngsters are RIPing every single week and are being killed by our very own, sometimes from the very next road and brutally might I add. Families cant grieve or mourn in peace because we now live in fear of the opposition gangs petrol bombing or starting a shooting frenzy. Religious buildings under attack. Its ludacrous.

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#CapeFlats#PE#WentworthKZN

We’ve now started fighting each other for terrortory. For a “name” ‘coz thats all we have left to fight for.

BEE only gives us a mere 8.8% in the employment sector. And all community upliftments are done in “other” areas and we kinda get the “left overs” or the “lets just do it to say we did it”. Has the pity made things worse?

How do we change this? How do we rewire ALL these years of injustices that have forced our youngsters to settle as drug lords, that have forced them to join gangs just to be protected. Just to be able to put a plate of food on the table? Can these questions be answered?

Im no expert. So I dont even know if its possible. What I do know is that we can rewire our own mentality. Coloured women, liberate yourselves and conform not to what society labels us as; the village bicycle who has no ambition. The raw, uncooth chick who is bound to have 5 kids from different men at the age of 15.

Coloured women, lets be grateful for the oppotunities God has blessed us with and lets start making an effort to include Him more in our lives. Lets start tolerating each other. Being patient. Being more supportive to ourselves, family, friends and community. Lets start practicing kindness and love. We are the leaders of the nation and once we ge this right, our kids and future kids will have this mentality. We are their first teachers. You are unique and you are beautifully courageous my coloured sister.

Coloured men, do right by your women, lead you and your family to the path of God. So,”they” give you the less glamourous jobs that make it difficult to provide for your family? Instead of asking “why me?” Lets start asking “why not me?” God really gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.

Lets change the perception of coloured men in our communities; the label that suggests our men are violent and are only good to drink and jol. The label that says our men are useless. You are loved. You are strong and I Salute you my coloured brother.

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We can do this by just working on ourselves and our mindsets. Time is running out. We are living in a war zone and the devil is at work. He’s probably rejoicing at the progress he’s made ‘coz we are conforming to what he wants us to conform to; heartless folk only after drugs, money and fame with no humanity or God left in us.

The battle isnt over. We have to level out these playing fields and it starts with you and I. Today!

May all the souls lost through these gang wars RIP. And may strength and comfort be bestowed amongst their families.

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Our challenge

WE ARE NOT A CURSED NATION. Share your thoughts or words of encouragement below and please share so we can get this to as many folk as we possibly can.