I thought time would have healed me abit and by now I’d be abit more stable when your birthday comes… I guess I was wrong. I think time has taught me to keep myself distracted, but on days like this, it’s impossible.
I try to celebrate you, in fact, I celebrate you daily. You have pushed me to be the woman with characteristics of the mother I would have wanted to be to you. Each time I’m In a situation, I think “what example would I be leaving if Mika’il were here”.
Precious child, you have made such an impact in my life. I really thank Allah that he chose me to carry you.
Flashbacks of the day that I lost you came flooding in from 01:05am when my sleep broke this morning.
As much as I trust Allah had different plans for you, I still question if you’d be here if only I had made different decisions or if only I stayed off my feet and rested as I should have.
But anyway, you would have been six today. Lol no guessing that I would have been way more excited than you. You would have also started big school. Gawsh, I don’t think they make phones big enough to house all the photos I’d take of you daily. I often wonder how it would have been; me coming home to help you with homework, teach you. You going to madressa and learning more about your religion. I often wonder what type of questions you’d be asking me.
I often wonder… I do that alot actually.
So on your special day. Know that mum and a whole lot of aunts and uncles, cousins, Junaid and Ma & PA are thinking of you. I know you’re in a much better place my son.
The love I have for you will never die. Till we meet again sweet child.
It’s been a hella long time! A good couple of months in fact! I’ve had the urge to put my fingers to the keyboard and share, in hope of being healed through what has been a very stressful few months. But for some reason, I’ve never gotten around to doing it… we will have a catch session soon though.
Today marks the beginning of a new opportunity : The #DH thread. There’s no set plan but we will see how far we can run with it.
What makes today special, is that It’s my husband’s birthday! 31 years young! First birthday we celebrating as one, just sad that I can’t share this day with him. I am in spirit though!
Here it goes:
Slamaat on your 31st birthday! May Allah SWT spare you with many more happy returns. May every prayer said for you and by you be accepted. May the almighty keep you stead fast and safe guard that precious heart; keeping it filled with love and light, happiness and peace always. May this day be a reminder of all the things you should be grateful for and may the next year be blessed with Allah’s mercy and favour. Aaameen!
This thread, just like the #DFH ( dear future husband) thread will go out to my husband, letting him know the things I am grateful for and also the things I expect.
Hope we have as much fun with this thread as we did the last.
Today is very emotional day for me, as many of you who have shared my journey with me , would know, I lost my son at birth on this day, five years ago.
I’m getting stronger but it’s certain days that still get the better of me.
Situations have presented themselves forward, which I honestly did not have the patience and energy for and which I have been silent about because sometimes silence is best. But having being such an emotional morning, part of me wanted to react; just to vent so I could focus on celebrating my boy.
My sister said somethings to me that made so much of sense. She firstly reminded me of the person I AM. She then went on to saying
” Sissy, you can’t control what people say about you, but you can control how you react, so continue to react with patience, confidence, God and class”.
When you’ve found your peace. The devil will find ways to steal it. Don’t allow him too.
I was once very hasty and irrational and over the years I worked extremely hard to better myself with the help of my creator and family and a few friends.
I am so blessed with the people in my life, not only do they allow me to be me, flaws and all; they guide me, pick me up and step in when I can’t.
The beautiful messages I received this morning from sister and from my friends and family in support of Miks birthday, from my mum who wakes up to sing for him every year and my dad who will always come to me after and tell me to turn to God and not to cry and then my brother that would console me in his own awkward way, my boy are blessed and are forever grateful and I thank each of you.
To my dearest Lori. Thank you for the surprise visit to Miks grave and the video call and for making it look so beautiful. I couldn’t be there and even with all going on with you, you found it to make time and make a plan to do this for us. I am forever grateful
May God bless each and every one of you who remembered us today with bountiful favour and blessings.
It’s a day that reminded me of some very important lessons and it would never have happened if my angel was not in heaven.
Thank you friends and family and God for the constant support, the reminders and the lessons.
A gratitude post from just an ordinary Mum of angel!
Slamaat on your fifth birthday Mika’il, may the angels sing for you and may you have a ball up there with all of your heavenly friends. I love you boy and never will I ever forget you and how precious you were!
Every year I tell myself that I need to be strong and that I shouldn’t cry or mourn the birth/passing of my son.
Each year, I feel stronger. Whilst I still randomly think of him and how he’d be, what milestones he would have achieved and what his favourite thing to do would be, I smile more.
Until his birthday.
My boy would have been five today. I barely slept having this unsettled feeling. The morning dawned and the memories of the awful day came flashing through, my heart sank and the tears can’t be controlled.
No person will really understand it unless they’ve been through it. We are told not to cry and that they’re better off and well that’s true… but it isn’t that simple.
I commend those moms who have lost kids and still keep their strong, keep pushing forward, keep smiling and keep inspiring. The moms who have had more kids and are still able to give and give and give. You women are power!
May the almighty bring comfort to us all and may we all be reunited with our little angels one day.
An extremely late post but as I say, better late than never (:
What an amazing weekend. It started off with my mum and nieces video calling all the way from China 🇨🇳 to sing for me. Mum does it every year in person and even since she wasn’t here, she made a plan 😍❤️
I know I say this often, but I am so grateful for the people in my life.
A group of friends left work early to celebrate my special day with me. We didn’t go partying, or get paralytic drunk. Neither did we get high.
We went 10pin bowling and dodgem car riding! Yeap! 4 grown women. Oh and what fun did we have. You can tell you getting old when just that and supper get you so tired you can’t even walk. By 20:30 pm we were all exhausted. Laiyah, Amy and Lamz you girls are gems 💎.
My #Bae then traveled all the way from JHB in a bus just to spend the weekend in Durbs for my birthday. For many you’d be like so what’s the biggy? The biggy is that it feels so good to love and be loved. To have people do for you as you do for them. Many a time we just do because we want to and don’t expect anything in return. Which is a good thing. But when you get somebody doing just as much for you, it feels great.
Birthdays for me, aren’t about gifts. They’re about the beautiful messages and wishes , about spending time with the people who matter the most and doing things that actually matter.
We love to be spoilt though and my gifts hands down were THE best and well-thought out gifts ever.
Life is not about things; materialistic things, it’s about the simple, sentimental things. And I am so grateful that the people in my circle get that.
A weekend spent with people I hold very dear to my heart.
Thank you to each one of you who went out of your way to call, SMS, message, v note, video call, update pro pics, message on my insta, twitter or FB time line, for the DM’s and comments. I really appreciated every message and attempted to respond to each one.
As I write out this post to wish you, the tears automatically fill my eyes. Which is normal for me.
Slamaat on your 4th birthday my son. I have no doubt that the angels are making your day a special one, atleast I hope they heard my prayers and are doing so because you deserve nothing but the best.
I know I would have woken you up already to the birthday song with candles lit. I would have been planting a gazillion kisses on your face and then would have made the most heart-felt dua and wish for you.
Our moment was snatched away but the Almighty knows best l. I’m trying to celebrate you and so this is the first birthday of yours that I didn’t take leave. Your mama is gonna get dressed up for your birthday and is going to try to celebrate it. It’s just so hard. And I’m just so emotional, so cross your little fingers and let’s hope all goes according to plan.
May you be wrapped in love and light until we meet again boytjie. You will always be a huge part of the woman I’ve become today. Thank you for making me a mother. I love you with my all Xx
50 years ago on this very day a queen was born; a force to be reckoned with was created. A go- getter, no-nonsense and the true definition of real was born. My mother was born!
I feel so blessed having the honour of being your daughter, whilst life has thrown me some horrible curveballs, I look at your heart and ability to love so hard and remember just how blessed I am.
It is apparent that I don’t know the journey you’ve walked to get to where you are but know that I respect it and I respect you. I may not be the perfect child and my mouth sometimes just goes off without thinking but know that you will forever be my queen! Nobody can ever and will ever take your place.
My dua is for Allah to put the means in me to love and respect and honour you the way that you should be. May every tear that has ever fallen from your eyes create rivers for you in Jannah. May Allah ta Allah bless you with a long, Barakat filled, happy, healthy life inshallah!
May all your hearts desires come true. May any hurt or pain be removed from your heart and may you be peaceful and happy always.
May Allah ta Allah make you one of his beloved servants and may he make the next half of the century easier and more rewarding than the last. By his mercy , permission and will aaameeen.
I love you for ever and always and I hope you have a wonderful day nearly as wonderful as you are.
How time flies! Just the other day you were born and I met you in your little purple JLO tracksuit. Lol
With the boldest eyes and the chubbiest cheeks ever. We knew then that you were going to be the lil diva that you are now.
2016 has been such a tough year for you baby girl, yet I’ve seen you overcome it as though it were nothing. You didn’t allow it to dull your sparkle and that my dear love is so courageous and a lesson I will take and learn from you.
Happy 6th birthday Layla, my wish for you is that you remain this courageous lil girl through out your life’s journey, your charismatic demeanor and divarish tendencies remind us more n more about just how blessed we are to have you. May God be the centre of your world always! May you grow to love and respect your parents just as you do now. May Gods blessings, favour, peace and protection be with you always! Amen.
53 years ago Allah’s servant was born, a legend was born, a soldier was born, my father was born.
If you had to ask me if I would trade you in for anything? Hands down the answer would be no! Even though we fight often, you complain, can lose your head at times and I can just be mil, I wouldn’t change it for a thing.
You have taught me so many things Dad and watching you transform into the father you are now is nothing short of admirable.
I am grateful to you for so much but most importantly your guidance towards Allah and I hope that Allah ta Allah will bless me with a husband that shares your principles.
I hope that on your special day you enjoy it thoroughly, may it be filled with loads of love and laughter. May Allah spare you with many more happy returns, may he keep you on the siratul mustakeen. May you be blessed with good health and wealth and a long life to continue doing Allahs work. May all of your hearts desires be fulfilled. Inshallah aameeen
Love you till the end of time dad. Kasi for everything
Im at a loss for words…which is something that never ever happeneds.
Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you to everybody who took the time out to send such beautiful words of wonderful wishes. Its these little things that mean the world to me.
1stly, to my creator. For sparing me with yet another year. For blessing me. For guiding me and protecting me. Im am foreverely indebtored to you and only you.
My parents, words will never beable to explain just how much I appreciate you both. For keeping me grounded. For encouraging me to work hard and achieve my goals and for always pushing me towards Allah. I am foreverely grateful. May Allah ta Allah bless you both with nothing but THE best! Mum you woke up singing the birthday song and dad for my beautiful cake. At 26 and to have you guys still do this…I am blessed.
My wonderful family.My sister, My handsome brothers,Bevan and Ismail. My auntys, uncles and cousins…When I sometimes question God and ask him “Why”… I am often reminded about how blessed I truely am. The encouragment, the celebration of each others achievements, the “we will always be here for each other”… what more could I possibly ask for?
My work family…. Team Titans, Team 10acity, Team Leggo! When I asked God for the perfect job, he knew that for me it wasnt about the money but rather the people and the oppotunity to grow. I could not have chosen to work under and with any better people than the ones I’ve worked with in my 2years at Discovery Health.
Lets start off with my team leaders…from day 1, Ive always had team leaders who encouraged and nurtured me. Who when said ” im here for you, you can count on me”….proved it with their actions. Karena, I will forever be grateful to you for not letting me get comfy and always pushing way out of my comfort zone. Words fail me when you always speak words of encouragment to me. Thank you! My Nojjy pooh. Thank you for being my voice of reason and allowing me to view things out of the box. For always being 100 and for being as honest and frank as you are. I appreciate it and I appreciate you. My Desire! Meeting you at first was alil daunting…that look! #goodness. But working with you has been nothing short of entertaining. Thank you for being so patient with me and helping me. I often get so overwhelmed and without even saying anything to you, you just know. I appreciate it! Thank you!
My teammies. U guys made my 26th THE best bday evz. My party and my card was just beautiful. I appreciate the gesture so so so much. My beautiful ladies. Jan, Trish, G, Anyah, DelZ, and oh so gawjus fellas, Ryano,Robmeista,Nassy poo and the all time G Rees…i really couldntv asked for more. Thank you Team Titans. You guys #rock #awesome!.
My fellow other teammies, the well wishes, warm hugs and precious smiles…you guys will never no how much i appreciate it. My amykins, koko pops, desh, ronelle, yvonne, verhana, prashicals, mags, Applez, Avi, Dylan,my Prudy Prudy, KamKam,Justin, Sibu. Geen, Naffy, Tash, Rushicals, Thoko, Kerry, Aisha,Julz, Mandy, Emma,Caro,Sherelle, Chantelle,Tilly,Charmaine…Thank u!
My friends, the callz,messages,profile updates… aaw you guys let me know how girly I really am coz i get so emo.Ive had so many facebook profiles and all of them had more “friends” than my current one. Each year 100z of bday messages would flood my wall and how excited i would get!
But this year the few that have posted beautiful messages on my wall, I appreciate it more than anything coz i know that they were all sincere, i wasnt just excited. I was moved and felt so special. If ever any of you find me questioning God or being ungrateful. Smack me or remind me of my 26th because God has really shown me how blessed I am and what amazing folk I have in my life…i can atleast say Ive managed to get one thing right and that is my circle. Thank you to each and every one of u. N my special shout out to my Stephy stephs for being the first wish of the day.
This years birthday was full of “first times”. Got my first bunch of flowers from a guy. Lol thank you Rush, they are beautifulll.
Got my first car, Shukr Allah and a huge thank u to my sis for coming with me to pick up.
I even got free tickets to see Marc Lottering lol. I at one point thought God was punking me. Lmao.
The highlight of my day was def my team card and party, my beautiful messages and flowers and the wonderful voice note from my nieces.
So in short, Thank you all. May all ur well wishes sent to me, return to you. May God protect you always and may his favour be upon you all always.