” To be the best, you must be able to handle the worst”
~ Wilson Kanadi
How true is this? Every challenge as the potential to be a teacher… It is up to us and how we perceive it, that will ultimately determine whether we we overcome the challenge or whether we fall victim to it.
Happy Monday everybody. Change how you see challenges.
It’s okay to have down days and it’s even more okay to ask for help on those days.
Yesterday I woke up and my spirits were literally scraping the floor. I asked some of my contacts on my what’sapp list to send me some positive stuff. Man, the support and amount of positive dosages I got were enough to get my spirits up and about.
I’m going to share some of the stuff I received yesterday with you, incase you’re having my yesterday, today.
Each post I received moved me and heightened my spirits. People took time to send me stuff, just because I was down and expected nothing in return.
May God bless each and every one of you who helped me through yesterday. Aaameeen.
Love and light always; an appreciation from just an ordinary girl. 💋
Whilst there have been some very exciting milestones that occurred, it has been THE most stressful year by far… Check my blogging activity and you’ll agree.
Throughout everything that has happend, I almost lost myself. I allowed situations to define me. I allowed the built up frustration and anger to poison my thoughts. Heck I was almost even ready to stoop down to levels I swore I’d never go too.
Two hospital admissions, a court order and several encounters later… The drama still persisted. But something had to give and it gave indeed.
Whilst I won’t go into detail about the drama or even the betrayal. I would just like to touch base on something that became so apparent and is by far my biggest gripe with 2018.
Woman bashing…by women.
I think I was so alarmed that such women existed that I started questioning whether I was sane. I couldn’t and still find it hard to believe that there are women out here who literally spend time, lots of it, planning to destroy or make someone’s life a misery. Like do these people not fear God. Have they never felt peace and true happiness?
I mean how do you hate someone you’ve never met? How do you use someone’s past painful experiences to intentionally try to inflict more pain. How do you use everything in your way to purposely break another women’s spirit. If I was some weakling I’d either be in jail or a mad house.
This is what is wrong with the world first before the Trumps or Zumas. It’s us women. We hate it when its done to us but it’s justifiable to do it to someone else. We’d never accept if it were done to our daughters, sisters or besties but we encourage our sons to do it to their wives or friends to do it to someone else. We speak about being Godfearing but we ignore God’s messages.
It became so clear that women are so quick to judge fellow women but when we or one of our friends are in the same boat, we get enraged.
Our sons see this, and think it’s okay to do it because mom, sister or cousin does it. Our daughters see this and grow up thinking it’s okay to women bash.
We as women set ourselves up for failure. It’s pathetic. It’s shameful. It’s common and It’s sad. We birth nations. It’s time we stop focusing on the wrongs of others; men, fellow women etc. and start fixing ourself.
Heck it’s 2019. Peace and happiness should be the order of this year. Drama and all things negative are to be left in the past.
My prayer for every women reading this and for those who are guilty of this behavior is that you heal, that God allows you peace and true joy.
I pray that we as women become so busy with fixing ourselves that we have no time to tear each other down. I pray that God keeps us busy and focused on our own families and goals so that the devil doesn’t have a chance to toy with us. I pray for change, for all of us. Aaameeen.
What other people think of me is none of my business.
Don’t lose yourself and remeber a queen never leaves her throne to address peasants throwing stones.
Love and light always, feelings of just an ordinary girl
Did you know that Sunflowersare the symbol of faith, loyalty and adoration? Did you also know that they’re one of my favourite flowers? Here’s why:
|Image sorced from Google|
According to Google, sunflowers follow the movement of the sun across the sky from east to west, and this process is known as heliotropism.
They are commonly seen growing and blossoming in the worst of environments; waste areas, along side roads and in random fields.
There is something so meaningful about that don’t you think? Something so symbolic. Something so stunningly beautiful growing in the worse of places and often, places where people don’t offer much care.
Let us be like the sun flower; follow the light and continue to grow and blossom even when we’re in the worst parts of our lives.
Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.
I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.
But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.
I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.
I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.
I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?
I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.
But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.
Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.
Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?
We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?
Well this is what I have to say.
Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.
Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.
You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.
Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.
I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!