Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Coloureds: A product of rape they say

My heritage |images sourced from google|

Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.

I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.

But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.

I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.

I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.

I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?

I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.

But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.

Really?!

Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.

Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?

We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?

Well this is what I have to say.

Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.

Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.

You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.

Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.

I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!

Love and light always fam

From just an ordinary girl

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Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

#DFH #67: I found you

Dear Future Husband… I found you.

About two years ago I started the dear future husband thread… putting out everything I had wished for in a man and everything I’d do once I found him.

Today, I wake up a married woman. Junaid and I have known each other since we were little… but only started dating in December. Him, just like I, was married prior and so we knew exactly what we wanted.

We knew that it was meant to be and planned to get married in November…. but God’s timing prevailed.

We discussed and decided we’d get nikkad before our holy month of Ramadan and literally planned a wedding in about two days.

My dad did my draping, my mum, aunties and cousin the cooking, my cuz and I the running around and setting up and boy oh boy was it so fulfilling.

I have never experienced this amount of happiness and contentment. He is everything I’ve asked for in this thread and more and sometimes I’m in awe of how God answered my prayers till the last T crossed and I dotted.

My family never fails me and this just increased my gratitude towards them for all they’ve done.

Whilst I’m sayin good bye to this thread, I look forward to the journey ahead.

May this thread be a testimony that God listens, that one should not just settle and that patience is indeed a virtue.

Dear husband… I love you and look forward to spending the rest of my days with you.

Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

I owe my freedom to…

This morning I had a conversation that really made me sit and think about life, my purpose, blessings, experiences and then also who made it all possible;

  • God
  • My parents
  • Circle of friends and family

Having celebrated freedom day yesterday, I feel this post is fitting.

I have no shame telling people my story; not because I want or expect pity or even to bad mouth anybody, but to create hope in knowing that with prayer and the right people you allow in, you can overcome any and all adversities.

I fell pregnant, married the love of my life at the time, sh%t went south, was abused, lost my son at birth, lost my gran a few months after, got cheated on, got a divorce, lost my other gran and all in the space of a year and few.

GOD

When I returned home, I returned dignityless, broke as broke could be and with buckets full of emotion and questions and hurts and pain. I questioned God, everyone who knows me knows I love children and that my love is unconditional… why would he take those two things away from me. I was okay with being abused and unhappy, I was okay with making God and my parents unhappy; as long as I was with him and had my son, I was okay. Can you begin to imagine our absurd that is?

Truth is, lots of women feel and think that way.

Having nothing else to do, I started finding God, researched religions, I needed to know about this power that could do such, at his will. And trust, it was the best decision of my life.

I am born Muslim, but today I sit here saying that I choose to be Muslim. Upon reading and researching, I began to pray, at early hours of the morning. I would cry and ask God to pacify my heart because the pain was unbearable. I hid it well, maybe because of pride or even embarrassment? But I hid it well.

My perspective changed and I read about how babies who pass away will intercede for their mums on judgement day, I learnt that those who are favoured by God, are tested… I mean look at all the prophets and what they endured? I learned how women are valued in Islam and how we should be treated, and so I started expecting nothing less.

I became stronger and started seeing my blessings, my courage-meter started rising and rebuilding and reforming myself was what I began to do. Perhaps losing all that I lost, forced me to get closer to God; he is a jealous God after all. Perhaps it strengthened me to leave the toxic environment that I and him (my ex hubby) created. Perhaps Mika’il was an angel sent to save me from myself, so that I could find my purpose and fulfill it….

PARENTS

The beings we often take for granted. I come from an average background. Whilst we weren’t as poor as others I know, there were days we went with the bare minimum and everything we owned was worked for; sweat and tears literally.

Part of high school fees were sponsored and I remember taking lemon creams for a cake sale (in a private school with rich brats) because that’s all my dad could afford, they obviously pushed it aside because it weren’t as good for them as their novelty cakes.I couldn’t care less about them but felt more loved than anything, because MY DAD took his last and bought that for me.

My parents gave my siblings and I the best they had @ 100%… selfless, imperfect beings that were going through their own adversities but put our needs first. They made sure that we grew up with sound education and religion knowledge especially because they couldn’t teach us themselves… they only knew so much.

I look at them both today; Mum studied and is now a senior manager for one of SAs leading retailers and my dad, so religious inclined its unbelievable. My mum worked as a casual worker for EIGHT years before she became permanent. Yet she persevered. My dad was all things naughty, he drank, drugged, was affiliated with one of the most popular gangs in Durban but when my sister was born, he began his journey. Leaving school in grade 8, he now works independently as a tiler, being his own boss and growing in character and knowledge day by day.

With these two as an example… how could I quit? Sure we had and still have problems, but all families do. My parents are real-life examples of how perseverance, hard work and prayer can pull you out of any situation. And so I aspire to be just like them.

⭕️ OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY

My mum always told us to choose our friends wisely, back then it made no sense. Today, as 28 year old…it makes perfect sense. Science says that you become like the five closest people to you. Religion says that you should be wary of the company you keep… surely Mum, science and God cannot be wrong. You see, humans feed off each other in a non-parasitic way. We feed off energies. If you’re around negative, non-spiritual, uninspired folk…you will soon become just like them. On the flip side, if you affiliate yourself with people who are positive,warriors, those who know God and practice their faith each day and those who aspire to do many great things… it’s only a matter of time before you become just like that too.

I have had amazing people in and around my circle over the years. Ive had the best religious examples around me and I’ve had the most goal-driven people in my space. There was no way they were going to allow me to cave permanently.

They encouraged me when giving up was the easiest thing to do after days, weeks and months with internal battles and battling the trauma and adversities I been battling for so long. I was encouraged to pray and get closer to my creator, I was encouraged to re-wire my brain to look at the positives in every situation. I was pushed to set goals and boundaries for myself.

Today I sit here, looking back at yesterday; freedom day, and pondering over who was responsible for my freedom and they are:

  • God
  • My folks
  • My circle

Through my adversities I was reminded how highly blessed and favored I was and still am.

It’s 2018, 4-5 years after everything has happened and whilst it was not and still isn’t an easy road. I am way better off from where I started. I have achieved the littlest of things that made the hugest difference and I continue soaring and fighting on like the warrior God made me to be.

I am not where I want to be, I’m not Gods most loyal servant, I’m far from perfect. I’m miles away from financial freedom. But I am free. I am still. I am persevering and My faith is unshakable.

Love and light always; from just an ordinary girl

*all pictures are sourced from google*

Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

QOTD #76: 28th Birthday Edition

You cannot change what you do not own or what you do not take responsibility for.

–  28 year old me

Every year once the emotions have settled, I post about the previous year, my birthday and the plans for the forthcoming year.

This year is no different.

Me @ 27

  • The 27 year old version of me achieved quite a lot and 27 really set the tone for 28.
  • I started studying again, after a 6 year break.
  • I eliminated the negative forces within my space and my circle is defined
  • I got a new car
  • I went out more and did things that truly made my soul smile
  • I was more consistent with my blogging; both at work and outside of my 9-5. For those of you who follow me on social media, you would have also seen that I recently became part of the SA Bloggers Team.
  • I’ve made some character improvements and have spent more time giving back than I’ve done in a while.
  • I decided to give love a chance and am so comfortable with where I am
  • Most importantly for me, my relationship with God has been tighter than it has ever been and being muslim has never felt better.

That’s an overview of me at 27. Whilst I wanted to achieve much more like fitness and weight goals, financial freedom and other things, I am super chuffed with the direction that my life is starting to take.

March 17th 2018

My 28th birthday was definitely one to remember. You can check out my day in pictures by simply clicking here. From the most amazing, heart-felt birthday wishes and prayers, to the surprises my friends planned and then to the insanely me-personified gifts, made it a birthday to remember. I thoroughly enjoyed the day especially since I had a very tough day on Mik’ail’s birthday. It was yet again a moment God showed me just how blessed and rich I actually am.

My 28th

This year I want to push boundaries, at work, in my personal life, with my studies and also in the career path I am venturing into. Religiously, I want to become more consistent in terms of my prayers and attire. I want to align my character to that, which my faith encourages. I want to be still, modest, kind and courageous.

Me being 28, wants to finally accomplish my weight-loss goals. I choose to own every fat cell in my body because only then will I take full responsibility for my health and only then is permanent changes possible. So I own being plus-size, colourful, creative and me. I choose to love with no boundaries, be unapologetic for my standards and the things I am passionate about and to become the best version I have ever been.

I want to achieve financial freedom and have an 11 month plan. It may also be the year I get to re-marry… who knows (:

Bottom line is: I am a queen that needs grooming and I look forward to the progresses of the forthcoming year, to the lessons and to the great experiences and opportunities.

An inspired post from just an ordinary 28 years young girl.

Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, Photography, travel

South Africa’s most romantic cities

Deciding what to do for an anniversary? Looking for a romantic getaway to propose or contemplating a well-deserved “time-out” surprise with your significant other?

Do not despair! We are going to feature some of South Africa’s most romantic cities. There are amazing cities you can visit with tons of activity to bring you and yours closer.

We kick off this feature with my home town:

Durban

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Known for its subtropical climate and extensive beaches; it makes for a romantic hub of note.

You will have an array of activities to keep you and yours occupied.

You can enjoy long walks on the promenade or romantic picnics at the infamous Botanic or Japanese gardens. Feel for an intimate brekkie date? You can visit one of our many unique and quaint cafés. One of my favourite joints to visit is the Antique Café’… you will not be sorry.

If you want to add a little extra sparkle to ignite tons of memories, you can enjoy a variety of Zulumoon gondola rides or sunset cruises in and around the Durban harbor.

We also have activities for the adventurers! You can experience swinging from the world’s tallest swing at the Moses Mabhida Stadium or you and yours could go cage diving with the Sharks down the KZN south coast.

You’ll be a guaranteed to enjoy a variety of cuisines including our most popular; Indian, infused with the freshest of spices to tantalise those taste buds.

Next up, we feature the city of Gold:

Johannesburg

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Johannesburg (Egoli) is the largest city in South Africa. Known for its historical opulence and modern flare, you can enjoy site-seeing and museum hopping in the streets of Soweto. For some grown-up fun, you and yours can play dress-up, wish upon a jackpot star and then whisk off to the Monte Casino to black jack or spin-a-wheel.

My personal favorite thing to do, because it brings out my inner-child, is to visit the Gold Reef City theme park. A reasonable entry fee allows you all-day access to some of the most exhilarating rides. If you’re like me and reside outside of Egoli, cheap flights to Johannesburg is a thing, so do not despair. Fun and memories will be guaranteed.

Last but definitely not least, the mother city:

Cape Town: The home of my heritage.

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Cape Town is like that humble, cool kid in school, you want to despise it, yet you can’t help but love it at the same time.

Known for its colourful demeanor, multi-culture, unique mountains and breath-taking scenery, it really is no wonder why it has gained popularity on the international and national tourism streets.

The city’s natural settings and good climate will guarantee breathtaking selfies. Walk the streets of the colourful Bo-Kaap and take in the malay culture and beautiful scenery or, hitch a cable car ride to the top of table mountain that will award you an overlooking view of the entire city. See what I mean about breath-taking selfies being guaranteed?!

If mini road trips are your thing, you can drive along Chapman’s peak and stop at Hout Bay, one of my personal favourites. You can book a Robben Island Tour or even plan a visit to the Cape point vineyard.

Still not sold?  Perhaps the fact that Cape Town is the seafood hub of South Africa and is home to the infamous Charly’s Bakery, may change your mind. It certainly adds brownie points to my list.

South Africa is a diverse, multi-cultured place and has so much to offer. These really are just some of my personal, memorable activities that you and yours can experience but assured, there is so much more that you can do. Most cities have tour, Double-Decker buses that you can hop on, to see some of the most popular tourist attractions in each city, so you’re welcome to inquire about those.

Affordable flights,the person you love and a country filled with romantic cities…what are you waiting for?

|This post is in collaboration with TravelStart | All pictures are sourced from Google.

Love and light always, from just an ordinary girl.

community work, Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #72: Push your passion 💪🏼

Today’s quote was inspired by an opportunity that recently availed.

Amy Tangerine scripted:

Do what you love and you will inspire and awaken the hearts of others.

I really cannot stress how important and rewarding it is to do what you love; sacrifice for it, work hard at it and never ever give up on it.

We all have dreams of “making it big” and being impactful. That dream starts with doing you love; quite the cliche’, but a true one nonetheless.

You see when you have something that you love to do, it becomes a go-to place when everything else seems to be falling apart.

The opportunity-Gods almost wait for those tried and failed moments and wait to see how adamant we are…before they bless us with that big break and then the rest is history.

Most artists will tell you how difficult it was in the beginning before “their big break” or that “one-person” came along.

I was recently awarded the opportunity to write an article for SA Bloggers

(www.weblogforlove.com)

The post was well received and my oh my, did it feel good.

You’re welcome to check out the post that was featured, on basic and random cooking tips I’ve compiled by clicking Here

This was huge for me because blogging is my go to place, it’s my thing, it’s what I love and every opportunity I get to put my work out there, makes me feel like I’m honoring and am worthy of my passion especially since I’m still figuring this blogging thing out as I go along.

The post and quote is shared in hope that it will inspire at least one person to push their passion.

Love and light always, from just an ordinary girl 💋

Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

#QOTD #71: Consideration

My sister had this quote up a couple of days ago on her feed.

Let’s just say that I found it to be so profound that days later, I still remembered it.

I think it’s fitting to share It with you all and especially on this #chooseday morning

And our Quote of the day is:

Wash the plate not because it is dirty, not because you are told but because you love the person who will use it next.

~ Mother Teresa

I personally think that you don’t even necessarily need to love the the person who will use it next, you just have to be considerate or respect them enough to make their life or job or situation a little easier.

You can practice the essence of this quote in your every day life.

  • At home and even at work, make the lives of the cleaning staff easier; wash up after yourself, if you spill, wipe it up.
  • If you’re at the printer and you’re almost out of paper, fill the tray once you’re done.
  • If you work in an environment where you have interactions with clients that you need to log, leave clear and precise notes to make the life of the next person easier.
  • In the toilet, replenish the toilet paper if you finish it. keep the condition of the 🚽 and even the 🚿 or the 🛀 as how you would use it.
  • You see something in way that could cause harm, pick it up or move it away.
  • Get home early, start the cooking!

And the list really can go on.

It really is the little things that make the hugest impact.

Share this post and add ways that you can make someone’s life easier. Let consideration be the order of this week 🙌🏼

May the week be filled with loads of love, happiness, peace and opportunity. Aaameen

💗 and 🌈 always , from just an ordinary girl💋