On Saturday I had the amazing opportunity of attending the Al Ansaar Cancer Support Group’s 9th annual Chai day on behalf SA Bloggers
Read my review of the event by clicking here
Love and light always, from just an ordinary blogger
Growing up coloured has come with a lot of pros; Diversity. Tolerance. Tradition. One that stood out for me is that I got to experience and see more than one culture due to my blood line; Cape Malay, Indian, German and African.
I was raised and taught tolerance and respect for all people, irrespective of race, colour, creed, religion and even physical appearance. I was raised to be loud and proud and to own who I am; to stand firm for the things I believe in; to love; to pray; to smile through adversities. I was raised to help the next person, offer my seat to the Aunty hopping onto the bus or taxi or helping her with her parcels. I was taught to respect people. To be gracious and laughter and happiness were norms.
But growing up coloured, wasn’t that much of an issue as is being coloured in this present day.
I, being a coloured women, get more compliments on my hair and skin tone by random strangers more than someone sincerely greeting just because it’s a nice gesture or out our courtesy. It’s pretty much the only time of day most people would give, to interact with me, both men and women.
I, being coloured, am not “allowed” to love for love’s sake. Apparently there’s an unwritten rule about who I’m allowed to love and who I’m not. I’m subjected to vile comments from women of other races or cultures should I fall in love with someone outside my own race or culture. “You coloured women steal our good black men” … is the common one I’ve been told.
I, being coloured, am labeled automatically. Drink, smoke, drug, party and often get asked how many kids I have, as if it’s something expected and normal. People get shocked when I tell them I don’t do any of the above and I think to myself, even if I did, it’s my prerogative… what does it have to do with race?
I, being coloured, am often labeled as lost, or a product of rape, stupid, ambition-less and “uncultured” I’m often noticed but only because of my big thighs, big hair, light skin tone or because I’m simply labeled as “easy”. I mean if I’m coloured I’m not human and feelings are things I don’t have right? I mean I am just a product of rape.
But what’s even more alarming, is that my own race and species of women… make my life that much more difficult. God forbid I be happy with someone… then it’s “I’m eating his money” or “I’ll never be happy” or ” I’m no different” or “they won’t last”.
Let me achieve a goal; buy a house, car or even get a promotion and first thoughts are things so ludacris, like people questioning whether I really bought a house or car or comments like “she slept her way to the top”… lol. I’m often left in awe when I over hear such.
Are coloured women not able to fend for themselves? Are we not able to excel in life? Are we not capable of setting goals and achieving them… ON OUR OWN? Are we not worthy of another human being, besides our family and friends’, loving? Are we not allowed to have healthy minds and souls?
We nag about how others label us but we label our own like this?
Well this is what I have to say.
Sisters, coloured or not! I am an independent woman, I know struggle and I’ve TKO’d pain, I work hard and study hard and do what I need to do to get where I need to be. I’m ambitious and goal driven and sure as hell make my own Mandela’s. I love people and that’s not on condition of colour, creed or race. My hair and skin tone does not and will never define who I am. I am a warrior, a product of God and him alone. I only bring the best and so I often expect the best.
Brothers, I’m no piece of meat. I will not stoop to levels of flings and affairs. I will be that women that will degrade if you even think of DM’ing me, asking for a picture or becoming frisky when I know you have a partner.
You may not like me, but you sure as hell will respect me because I earn mine and because I’m sound in knowing who I am and what I’m worth. Trust! God made no mistake when he made me.
Nobody will ever understand the extent to which this affects some of us. We either deal it with well or in most cases hide it very well. But it’s about time we have these discussions. It’s about time that we pave the way for further generations and teach love, respect, appreciation, tolerance and gratitude. It’s time that we teach our kids to have sound, open minds and warm hearts. Time that we teach them about God and the things, ways and attributes that he loves. Not about race BS and the things that oppressed our people.
I am a coloured woman and if that means that I’m a product of rape… well then a product of rape has never looked this good!
Love and light always fam
From just an ordinary girl
Dear Future Husband… I found you.
About two years ago I started the dear future husband thread… putting out everything I had wished for in a man and everything I’d do once I found him.
Today, I wake up a married woman. Junaid and I have known each other since we were little… but only started dating in December. Him, just like I, was married prior and so we knew exactly what we wanted.
We knew that it was meant to be and planned to get married in November…. but God’s timing prevailed.
We discussed and decided we’d get nikkad before our holy month of Ramadan and literally planned a wedding in about two days.
My dad did my draping, my mum, aunties and cousin the cooking, my cuz and I the running around and setting up and boy oh boy was it so fulfilling.
I have never experienced this amount of happiness and contentment. He is everything I’ve asked for in this thread and more and sometimes I’m in awe of how God answered my prayers till the last T crossed and I dotted.
My family never fails me and this just increased my gratitude towards them for all they’ve done.
Whilst I’m sayin good bye to this thread, I look forward to the journey ahead.
May this thread be a testimony that God listens, that one should not just settle and that patience is indeed a virtue.
Dear husband… I love you and look forward to spending the rest of my days with you.
This morning I had a conversation that really made me sit and think about life, my purpose, blessings, experiences and then also who made it all possible;
Having celebrated freedom day yesterday, I feel this post is fitting.
I have no shame telling people my story; not because I want or expect pity or even to bad mouth anybody, but to create hope in knowing that with prayer and the right people you allow in, you can overcome any and all adversities.
I fell pregnant, married the love of my life at the time, sh%t went south, was abused, lost my son at birth, lost my gran a few months after, got cheated on, got a divorce, lost my other gran and all in the space of a year and few.
When I returned home, I returned dignityless, broke as broke could be and with buckets full of emotion and questions and hurts and pain. I questioned God, everyone who knows me knows I love children and that my love is unconditional… why would he take those two things away from me. I was okay with being abused and unhappy, I was okay with making God and my parents unhappy; as long as I was with him and had my son, I was okay. Can you begin to imagine our absurd that is?
Truth is, lots of women feel and think that way.
Having nothing else to do, I started finding God, researched religions, I needed to know about this power that could do such, at his will. And trust, it was the best decision of my life.
I am born Muslim, but today I sit here saying that I choose to be Muslim. Upon reading and researching, I began to pray, at early hours of the morning. I would cry and ask God to pacify my heart because the pain was unbearable. I hid it well, maybe because of pride or even embarrassment? But I hid it well.
My perspective changed and I read about how babies who pass away will intercede for their mums on judgement day, I learnt that those who are favoured by God, are tested… I mean look at all the prophets and what they endured? I learned how women are valued in Islam and how we should be treated, and so I started expecting nothing less.
I became stronger and started seeing my blessings, my courage-meter started rising and rebuilding and reforming myself was what I began to do. Perhaps losing all that I lost, forced me to get closer to God; he is a jealous God after all. Perhaps it strengthened me to leave the toxic environment that I and him (my ex hubby) created. Perhaps Mika’il was an angel sent to save me from myself, so that I could find my purpose and fulfill it….
The beings we often take for granted. I come from an average background. Whilst we weren’t as poor as others I know, there were days we went with the bare minimum and everything we owned was worked for; sweat and tears literally.
Part of high school fees were sponsored and I remember taking lemon creams for a cake sale (in a private school with rich brats) because that’s all my dad could afford, they obviously pushed it aside because it weren’t as good for them as their novelty cakes.I couldn’t care less about them but felt more loved than anything, because MY DAD took his last and bought that for me.
My parents gave my siblings and I the best they had @ 100%… selfless, imperfect beings that were going through their own adversities but put our needs first. They made sure that we grew up with sound education and religion knowledge especially because they couldn’t teach us themselves… they only knew so much.
I look at them both today; Mum studied and is now a senior manager for one of SAs leading retailers and my dad, so religious inclined its unbelievable. My mum worked as a casual worker for EIGHT years before she became permanent. Yet she persevered. My dad was all things naughty, he drank, drugged, was affiliated with one of the most popular gangs in Durban but when my sister was born, he began his journey. Leaving school in grade 8, he now works independently as a tiler, being his own boss and growing in character and knowledge day by day.
With these two as an example… how could I quit? Sure we had and still have problems, but all families do. My parents are real-life examples of how perseverance, hard work and prayer can pull you out of any situation. And so I aspire to be just like them.
⭕️ OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY
My mum always told us to choose our friends wisely, back then it made no sense. Today, as 28 year old…it makes perfect sense. Science says that you become like the five closest people to you. Religion says that you should be wary of the company you keep… surely Mum, science and God cannot be wrong. You see, humans feed off each other in a non-parasitic way. We feed off energies. If you’re around negative, non-spiritual, uninspired folk…you will soon become just like them. On the flip side, if you affiliate yourself with people who are positive,warriors, those who know God and practice their faith each day and those who aspire to do many great things… it’s only a matter of time before you become just like that too.
I have had amazing people in and around my circle over the years. Ive had the best religious examples around me and I’ve had the most goal-driven people in my space. There was no way they were going to allow me to cave permanently.
They encouraged me when giving up was the easiest thing to do after days, weeks and months with internal battles and battling the trauma and adversities I been battling for so long. I was encouraged to pray and get closer to my creator, I was encouraged to re-wire my brain to look at the positives in every situation. I was pushed to set goals and boundaries for myself.
Today I sit here, looking back at yesterday; freedom day, and pondering over who was responsible for my freedom and they are:
Through my adversities I was reminded how highly blessed and favored I was and still am.
It’s 2018, 4-5 years after everything has happened and whilst it was not and still isn’t an easy road. I am way better off from where I started. I have achieved the littlest of things that made the hugest difference and I continue soaring and fighting on like the warrior God made me to be.
I am not where I want to be, I’m not Gods most loyal servant, I’m far from perfect. I’m miles away from financial freedom. But I am free. I am still. I am persevering and My faith is unshakable.
Love and light always; from just an ordinary girl
*all pictures are sourced from google*
So I’ve gotten asked to share my blogging journey on an international general discussion Forum #AMA aka *Ask Me Anything*
I’ve given a brief description of my blogging journey, you can find the link Here , and you guys are welcome to participate and #AskMeAnything regarding my blogging journey on my #amafeed
I want this to be as successful as it can, as I want more young people to get involved and learn more about blogging.
I will appreciate all and any support
Love and light always fam,
From just an ordinary girl
There have been loads of discussions, all coincidental by the way, with some of my closest friends and some of my colleagues at my “9-5” regarding our passion and purpose. We been speaking about how and when does one find something they’re truelly passionate about and then how to start working on it, to pursue It.
One of my dearest friends sent this to me. She just knows my love for the written and spoken word and knew that this would be something I’d find profound and something I’d treasure. I had to share it with you. Please take heed.
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away
~ THE William Shakespeare
All of us are born unique with a set of strengths and weaknesses. We all are born with a gift, I call it a superpower, that we can choose to use, to make the world a better place and by that I mean, to touch and change the lives of even those just around us or choose to let it go to waste.
Most people, creatives, don’t believe in themselves enough. Fear of rejection and self-doubt always tend to win and I never understand why.
Personally? I believe that the world needs allll of our superpowers to make it a better place; to inspire each other and to bring out the best in each other.
Whilst we may have love for similar things, each of us are unique and therefore will always bring something unique to the craft. So don’t ever sell yourself short and don’t ever think that there’s never enough room for you. The world we’re in is always hungry for authenticity. Your time is now.
I really hope that this post will inspire and encourage you to tap into that superpower and to start sharing that with the rest of us. You need to fulfill your purpose (:
Some super power thoughts from just an ordinary girl.
Love ❤️ and light 💡 always
|image sourced from google|