Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

My head is barely above water

I had to work extremely hard today to control the anger,to keep the memories from swallowing and drowning my heart. And I’m exhausted now.

Memories of the different encounters of abuse, the affairs, the loss of my son, the violence, the struggles of just being a true authentic human being and people often taking that for a weakness, the heartache… It all came flooding back. I know what happens when I allow it to wash me away to depressing shores and so I fight daily to keep afloat. Today I’m barely making it.

See, what people don’t understand is that when you go through something traumatic, it never goes away. We work hard daily to rise above it all and keep moving, to work at it, to restore faith and trust. Its an everyday job where leave is something utopic. Some days we’re successful and are euphoric and other days we struggle, barely keeping our faces above water.

Today was one of those days for me.

To the pretentious kind. I don’t have the energy to deal with you today, so stay at bay.

To the judges of the world, do me a favour and take 30 to just relook at your own life. I can almost bet the judgment you possess towards me will be making a 360 towards yourself.

To the perpetrators, come correct… Kind is somewhere in my DNA, just not at the forefront of my logic today… So preservation of the positivity in my optimism well is the main goal for now. Not your pride or your ego…that I generally nurture in hope of yourll doing and being better.

I still have a house to clean, a prayer to say and tons of assignments to do. Allah if ever I needed you, it’s today.

Truest feelings, from just an ordinary girl trying to stay afloat

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community work, Girl power, Lifestyle, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal, studying

Team All_things_nice Millennial Group (AMG) = hope personified.

Chapter one

The gist

Many South Africans “stood” in solidarity yesterday by wearing all black. This was a stand up against the brutal attacks on women and the xenophobic attacks that have escalated in past weeks.

I decided to stand with my fellow South Africans in, what I believe to be, a different way.

See, Maya Angelou once said that people will forget what you do for them but they will never forget how you make them feel… Or something along those lines. And I for one, agree with her.

So I set out on a task, which started out prematurely but ended in the most heartfelt, touching way.

Chapter two.

Filling in the gaps

Towards the end of July 2019 I applied to be a simulations Team leader. It’s basically a team leader coach to new people entering the business, in their training period. I was successful. People have always been my passion and I love making people smile and just helping out in general. Not blowing my own horn, but just giving you an idea of why I was so excited when I was awarded this opportunity.

What was daunting is that the group I was selected to help out with, is a Learnership group. Yeap millenials who are mostly fresh out of high school…

I’m sure you can understand why this was a teeny weeny bit nerve wrecking!

Fast forward a month and a half, a couple of coaching sessions, hilarious and sometimes inappropriate comments/encounters and unforgettable moments… These guys and girls have literally changed my life and have each earned a place in my heart.

The final chapter.

The lasting impact

Friday, the 06th of September 2019. I woke up and dressed in navy blue. I honestly forgot about the whole wear black escapade. Don’t judge me, it was a really rough week, with late nights, early mornings, minimal sleep and still thoughts of spending the weekend buried in text books and having to finish 11 assignments. So go easy on me now.

With all of the chaos happening around us; the negativity, anger and darkness our country seems to be in, I wanted to create a positive hub in our training room. The aim was purely to lift our spirits.

The thinking behind this task was to encourage these young girls and guys to always show gratitude, to focus on the positive and to always seek the silver lining; to see hope in adversity.

The task of the day was for each of them to write one thing that they like best about themselves and then to go around the room and tell each of their training buddies one thing that they like about them.

No lie, it started out funny. But believe me when I say that by the time we were done, it was one of the most fulfilling, heartfelt, sincere and memorable moments I’ve ever witnessed. I saw young kings show vulnerabilty and gratitude towards their fellow kings and watched them pour their inner most feelings out to the fellow queens in our training group. I saw young queens commend and speak life into their fellow queens and watched them uplift our young kings.

It was a beautiful and inspiring encounter. Ego, pride, shade, conspiracy, negativity, fakenicity (its a word, don’t ask further) had no place in that room. It didn’t exist. And boy was that refreshing.

The whole task was so authentic that I woke up inspired to write this post.

My Learnership guys have given me hope. Hope in our future. Hope in our young men and women. They aren’t just delinquent, entitled millenials. They are young, bright, sincere, real, talented and respectful beings.

I am super blessed to have encountered each and every one of them.

Team AMG. You guys rock awesome!

Love, light and cool vibes only… From just an ordinary simulations team leader.