Six years. You would have been six years.
I thought time would have healed me abit and by now I’d be abit more stable when your birthday comes… I guess I was wrong. I think time has taught me to keep myself distracted, but on days like this, it’s impossible.
I try to celebrate you, in fact, I celebrate you daily. You have pushed me to be the woman with characteristics of the mother I would have wanted to be to you. Each time I’m In a situation, I think “what example would I be leaving if Mika’il were here”.
Precious child, you have made such an impact in my life. I really thank Allah that he chose me to carry you.
Flashbacks of the day that I lost you came flooding in from 01:05am when my sleep broke this morning.
As much as I trust Allah had different plans for you, I still question if you’d be here if only I had made different decisions or if only I stayed off my feet and rested as I should have.
But anyway, you would have been six today. Lol no guessing that I would have been way more excited than you. You would have also started big school. Gawsh, I don’t think they make phones big enough to house all the photos I’d take of you daily. I often wonder how it would have been; me coming home to help you with homework, teach you. You going to madressa and learning more about your religion. I often wonder what type of questions you’d be asking me.
I often wonder… I do that alot actually.
So on your special day. Know that mum and a whole lot of aunts and uncles, cousins, Junaid and Ma & PA are thinking of you. I know you’re in a much better place my son.
The love I have for you will never die. Till we meet again sweet child.
Slamaat on your sixth heavenly birthday.
Love and light always,