People have recently took to social media to voice their comments and concerns after a new born baby girl was rescued from a manhole in Newlands East, Durban.
You can read more about that here
Can I just commend the folk involved in rescuing this baby and the many other abandoned babies out there. And an even huger thank you to all the baby and kiddies homes out there. You guys are making a difference!
As always, majority of our community members used this opportunity to judge, belittle and curse the mother of this baby without knowing who abandoned the baby or what the mother’s situation was. I for one, felt for that baby. As a woman who has lost a kid and is looking to have my own soon, my heart bled for that little girl and I could somewhat understand the anger and frustration from everyone but till an extent.
For me, my heart bled even more for the mother of that baby. I kept thinking and wondering what space she must have been in to do something like that. I kept wondering how desperate she must have been in.
Personally, I know what difficult situations can do and the state they can sometimes leave you in… And not all of us deal with these difficulties or aftermaths in the same manner.
I mean I know God has a plan and part of me felt like he knew that he would protect that baby and so I couldn’t help but think that just maybe it all happened because this mum needs help.
As women we often go through so much and yet it becomes so easy for us to tear someone else down without knowing their story. Imagine if that was your sister, niece, cousin or friend… and you knew nothing about what they were facing but came to hear of it after. Would you still judge as harshly as you are now?
As a community, our first reaction is to judge from behind a phone or keyboard. That’s one of our biggest problems; quick to vent and complain but not many put their hands up to actually change a situation.
We become vial and suddenly play the roles of being sinless or holier than thou. We forget that there may be things that we are not particularly proud of that we may have done, be it an affair, sex before marriage, gossiping, lying, stealing, drugging, murder etc etc…you can see where I’m going with this.
It is so important to know that opinions are just that and they never warrant us judging someone just because they sin differently to us, especially without knowing all the facts.
We fail to think that maybe this is an opportunity for us as a community to change and become more proactive. Look at the devil.
Maybe if this mom knew that her community would stand by her through what ever she was going through as opposed to knowing how we usually judge and so would judge her irrespective, or even knowing how she’d be blasted on social media(because that’s what we do) , just maybe the outcome would have been different.
We use our energy on prying on other people’s pain,… Maybe to prevent us from actually looking at ourselves and taking accountability for the wrongs we’ve done. You don’t call that justice. It’s actually pathetic. We complain about racism, sexism, terrorism but oppression towards people who make mistakes, or suffer from mental disorders or feel like they don’t have any other way out becomes okay…how messed up is that. And even if they are “whores” or whatever else one might call them… It is not our place to judge.
I’d like for something positive to come out of this, even if it is just awareness.
WE know that there are alternatives to dumping unwanted kids… But for someone battling a mental illness or disorder or going through a difficult time… sometimes their judgment is clouded.
Can we circulate alternatives? Letting distressed mums to be or mums who feel they don’t have options, know that they actually do have options?
Mothers can leave their unwanted babies at a baby safe. There is an organization dedicated to making baby safes to prevent babies being abandoned. For more information or even if you’d like to sponsor, please click here or you can google The baby safe.
There are baby safes on the Bluff. In Amanzimtoti, PMB and Durban North.
And if you you are anywhere else in the country, the website has a list of baby safes in other provinces as well.
If you know of any other way, like Crisis Centre information or where people can find out more about family planning and contraceptives etc. Please comment below or share it on your social media platforms, in your community or even at your work place?
We need to take our community back and we are only as strong as our weakest link… Let that sink in.
Love and light always, from just an ordinary community member.