For those of you who know me, know that I tell my story, not for pity or praise but rather in hope that it may grant somebody the courage to keep on going.
2013-2014: loss of my son, my gran, my marriage and my other gran.
I had to adapt to being single, broke, dependent; a statistic, a divorcee…at such a young age. Having to move back home was soothing but not comfortable. Dealing with emotions, with your self esteem scraping the floor, and not having your loved ones around isn’t easy for any young women. I felt it all. I was out of job and having always been independent … this was so difficult to adjust to; having to depend on mum and dad again for my bare necessities and depending on them emotionally and mentally. All while , people my age were out there, doing their thing and making something of themselves . I felt useless and dumb.
I was a rising star, they all said. Full of potential. I excelled in school, top student in college and with just 6months to finish my Diploma in Journalism and Media studies, I couldn’t continue because of my high risk pregnancy with Mik.
As a jobless , heart-broken and childless divorcee, I really was at the brink of hopelessness. Just lived through each day, allowed myself to go through the motions, stayed single and I kept praying.
In January of 2014, I started at the company I’m currently at. I made a promise to myself that I would never allow myself to be at the point I was once at. That i would not take any opportunity for granted again.
Still having to deal with the psychological ordeals of the passed two years, it was work in progress. Fast forward 3 years later and I stand having had 2 promotions, paying for my own car, paid off most of my debt, found myself and my faith, recently started dating again, allowing myself to love again and most recently, begining my studying journey.
I received confirmation on the 25th of July 2017 that I had been approved for a bursary that I had applied for through work. I was so ecstatic! Couldn’t believe that it’s finally happening you know? Then, Having received confirmation of my registration for a BA in Communication Science, it literally made me emotional, I cried. I literally felt so overwhelmed and all I did was thank God, tell my loved ones and cried.
To many, being accepted in University is a norm, not a biggy, just the way of life but Not to me it isn’t, this is a life line, an opportunity to grow and work towards my goals. This is my blessing and I’m sure as hell claiming it.
When you just one person trying to mend your life, things like this don’t just happen. Having to put the pieces of the puzzle of your life together again, previously alone and broke… not so glam hey! Especially when you so used to having one bad thing happen to you after another.
But I got yet another chance to prove that I’m worth it. That I do have potential , that I have a story to tell and people to help, that I still need help because I am human. This is my reminder to remain humble and never to forget where I come from.
I only have God, my family and friends to thank, for the constant support and faith in me. Believe me when I say this: I wouldn’t have been here today if it wasn’t for you.
So look out for new blogs relating to studying and all it entails. I look forward to the “what the hell did I get myself into” nights, the “burning of the midnight oil” nights, the confusion, frustration and exhaustion. I can already invision my graduation day 👨🎓😍
Every cloud has a silver lining, I’m finally seeing mine.
Dearest, valued human. Keep pushing; passed the hurt, anger, and hopelessness. I promise you it will all be worth it.
Mama! I think I’m making it