Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Cakeday #March17th

Since Miks passing, I’ve never really celebrated my birthday with our birthdays being so close. So ironic because birthdays  are generally a big thing for me.

I do however, use this day to sit back and reflect on the past year. See what character / religious / career adjustments can be made. Sit and decide what worked for me and what didn’t work for me. This year will be no different.

I didn’t achieve wordly things in the past year. I’m still in the same position career wise, as I was last year. But I did achieve religious and character goals. I’ve put to bed some of the very influential demons in my life. I’ve got the answers I needed and I got to verbally say my truth. Confronted people who needed to be confronted and made an effort to physically remove the drama from my life. I’ve made a conscious effort to stop being such a push over and God did it feel good. I’ve blogged more and started writing my book. I’ve respected my mama more, achieved some weight loss and joined an amazing book club. Trying to do things that actually matter. I’ve also completed a year of mentoring and have successfully entered another year.

I’ve made some religious achievement. I read my Quran most days, previously I’d only read in our fasting month. I’ve worn my scarf more in the last year than I have in the last 5 and I’m working on praying more…..all this bythe almightys mercy and permission. The lesson I’ve learnt in the last year is firstly: 

  • success cannot be measured; by any one or anything. It is subject and you get to control what success means to you.
  • Spiritual/ religious achievements are just as, if not more fulfilling that wordly achievements.
  • How you feel matters!
  • Practice what you preach
  • Not everybody riding with you is willing to die for you, keep your circle small, keep it real

There’s tons of work I need to do for the forthcoming year. Which with the help of God I will do.

I just wanna take a moment to thank Allah, thank him for his unconditional love. For guiding me and protecting me even when I was and am unworthy of it. I want to take the time out to thank our creator for all the favors he has bestowed upon my life. I ask that he make me one of his most sincere and consistent servants. May he continue to bless those around me and help me with the transformations of my character and religious goals that I am aspiring towards. Shukr Allah for your infinite mercies. There really is none worthy of worship but you! 

To my family. Gawsh i sometimes look at you all and think “how do they do it”. I’m sometimes too much for my own self to handle and you guys do it so effortlessly. Shukran to each of you for your constant support. To my friends , my sisters , besties, you guys are the reason I am where I am today. My circle may be  very small but I’d have it no other way. You all are appreciated and I pray that my efforts to express my gratitude toward you guys let you know just how much you all mean to me.

Here’s to another year. May we all let God be the center of everything we do. 27 are you ready for me? Well that’s the question I’d like to ask but deep down I’m freaking out at how old I’m getting 🙈

Happy 1st birthday to my car as well, my didi pops 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻my ride or die, literally.

Happy St Patrick’s day to all and a very happy birthday to the many others born on this day 

Love and gratitude always

From just an ordinary birthday girl 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

#DFH #47

Dear future husband,

I’ve decided to go back to #nocarbs #nosugars. 

You will know by reading through my blogs that I have an issue with my weight. 

None the less, this can make me real grumpy because you know food is life for me. 

Please don’t take anything personal, generally the grumpiness lasts for about a week, just until the cravings are gone.

Just a warning 😃 in case I fall off the bantwagon and start again

Your future wife ❤️

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Thank you 

It’s that time of the year again where I show gratitude to everybody who wished me and Mik well. 

It was a first for me this year, not taking leave for Boy’s birthday. And even I underestimated the support I would receive.

My dearest famo and friends. Thank you all for the beautiful messages of well wishes for my boy and strength for me. The profile picture updates. The constant check-ins. With friends and family like you guys , no burden is too heavy. Shukr to Allah! 

My work fam, the beautiful card and bag of goodies brought on the tears even more. I appreciate you guys so much. You guys made my day at work all the more bearable. I only hope that I am given the opportunity to be there for all of you like you have for me.

My family; mother, sister, cousins. I appreciate the wishes from China. My mum never misses singing for her grandson even if she’s on the other side of the world. My sister for the kind wishes and cousins for thinking of me. 

Stephz, you were there for me the actual day I lost Mik , you made sure you tracked my number down and called me. Years later, and I still get messages from you on Miks birthday, thank you my friend. I love you tons.

Lamz, you called first thing in the morning and had his pic up. You and layla and the kids really made it special. Appreciate you in so many ways.

My ex in laws, I appreciate the messages sent. Thank you (: 

My trishy, thank you for coming home and cooking me supper and just existing with me. I appreciated that so much! You really are a special kind my friend. 

Here are some of the wishes sent :

My beautiful card made by my team ❤

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Happy 4th birthday Mik


As I write out this post to wish you, the  tears automatically fill my eyes. Which is normal for me.

Slamaat on your 4th birthday my son. I have no doubt that the angels are making your day a special one, atleast I hope they heard my prayers and are doing so because you deserve nothing but the best.

I know I would have woken you up already to the birthday song with candles lit. I would have been  planting a gazillion kisses on your face and then would have made the most heart-felt dua and wish for you. 

Our moment was snatched away but the Almighty knows best l.  I’m trying to celebrate you and so this is the first birthday of yours that I didn’t take leave. Your mama is gonna get dressed up for your birthday and is going to try to celebrate it. It’s just so hard. And I’m just so emotional, so cross your little fingers and let’s hope all goes according to plan. 


May you be wrapped in love and light until we meet again boytjie. You will always be a huge part of the woman I’ve become today. Thank you for making me a mother. I love you with my all Xx

Happy 4th birthday my baby 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

A note of gratitude 

For those of you who know me, you would know that loyalty means everything to me. I am yet again shown by the almighty what amazing friends and family I have.

None of my friends or family expect public recognition for the things they do, but I’m gonna  publicly show my gratitude towards them anyway. 

This post is dedicated to four of the very few special people in my life who went out of their way to make my weekend special and to make sure that I don’t spend it alone now that my folk are overseas. 


Lucille. You literally left your house, went to hire movies and got to me just after 10. You brought chocolate, jelly babies and 5 of the most amazing romcoms. You know that I am PMSing and that it’s the weekend before miks birthday and you knew, without me saying, that a girls day in, in pjs , and movies would be just the thing I needed to keep my mind occupied. Who would have ever thought my best friend’s wife would have turned out to be one of the closest people me in my circle. I am grateful for your time because I believe that giving somebody your time, is giving them a part of your life you never getting back. Thank you my Lucy lu. Love you loads Lucinda 

Mummy, you called me this morning and even though I weren’t crying at the time, you just sensed something was wrong. Know what the amazing part was? I didn’t even need to tell you what was wrong, you just knew. You spoke words of strength and courage into me and reminded me that I am strong and confirmed that I will be okay. I always say that I admire your strength and wish I could be half the woman you are one day. Shukran for always being in my corner even when I’m not deserving of it. I appreciate you and I love you. 


Lamia! You too know how emotional the days leading to Miks birthday is for me and each year you are always here Supporting me. You accompanied me to see Mbali today and encouraged and interacted with her the way I would because you could see my heart was there but I was just too exhausted from all the crying. You drove us around, bought us lunch and cake and junk for our boy’s birthday. You listened, you teared up and you went out of your way to make sure I am ok. If that wasn’t enough , you lit candles and got us; me and the kids to sing for Mik, knowing that it’s something my mother does and she’s not here to do it. My friend, I am enternally grateful for everything you did, have done and will do. Who would have ever thought that  my ex husband’s cousin would be one of the realist closest people on my team.

Lastly, My Paddy waddy. I found a friend in you almost two years ago and even now that we’re in a relationship, that friendship seems to be growing daily. You woke up from your sleep to listen to me cry. You didn’t moan or shoosh me And you didn’t just listen, you reassured me, comforted me and calmed me. You elevated me and reminded me that it is okay to feel the way I feel and made an effort to show me that you are here. You made me know that Miks birthday would be a thing that we, as a couple will embrace. I can never express how much that means to me. You are always there for me when it actually matters and I am so happy to call you mine. I appreciate every single gesture of yours. Who would have ever thought that working on a reality show concept would gain me one of the most loyal, honest friends I know and would have turned into an amazing love story. I know it’s still early days but I appreciate you. Thank you baby! 

I always say that if I am ever ungrateful or start questioning God, that there’d be something seriously wrong with me. The friends and family in my circle is a constant reminder of Gods blessing bestowed upon my life. Shukr Allah for your infinite love.

I may not always show my gratitude and I know I tend to be over bearing at times. But what you guys did for me this weekend really meant the world to me.

Love you all and loads of gratitude may the almighty keep me around so that one day I may return the favor .

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

The pain 

Tears well up. 

It’s the overfloweth of my cup. 

How ironic because my soul feels empty. Its yearning for you to be here. With me. 

Emotions are peeking. 

I swear it’s a side effect of my soul seeking. You! 

It’s worse than having a knife put through your back, that kind of pain will eventually heal. 

This pain, demands for me to feel. Oh but how I miss you Mika’il.

The loss of a son. 

Bleeds more than the shot from a gun. 

It’s a pain I will be reminded of for the rest of my life. 

I would really have preferred the pain of that knife. 

I wish that Gods breath of life remained in your soul. It would make my life purpose-filled. Whole. 

Perhaps life would be easier if you were here see, Merrier. Happier . Happy her. (Me!)

I know you’re above beyond the clouds. 

You will always remain in my heart. Vows! 

Till we meet again son. Rest In Peace. 

With oceans of love, your mum❤ cease.

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Dear son 

It’s just one day before your birthday. And you should know by now how emotional I get. Flashbacks and memories of when it all happened.

If you were here, I know I would have been running around frantic looking for the final touches to whatever I would have had planned for you for tomorrow. 

You would have been 4. Imagine! Such a grown boy. 

I sometimes sit and imagine the kind of love-filled stares I’d be giving you when you asleep or think of all the gratified thoughts I would think when you do the darndest of things. I still imagine who you’d like, how your hair would have been and whose eyes you’d have.

Lots has happened over the passed year. I’ve met with your dad and glad to say that that has all been resolved. I’ve written “dear john’s” and burnt them, letting go of all the negativity and I’ve distanced myself from people who really don’t add anything but drama to my life. You give me all this courage in your own little way.

I made an intention to visit your grave for your birthday but financially that isn’t possible right now. I will be coming soon. I think I’m getting stronger, I’ve closed chapters of my life for good as I said before, by confrontation as well as small symbolic things. I also finally finished your baby book. 
I know it’s sometimes selfish of me to keep on doing this but writing is your mother’s go-to place. Your Ma never understands why I come to write here because she believes it doesn’t need to be posted. But you will never understand how posting this soothes me and it really is only with intention that other mommies who have lost their precious bundles know that they aren’t alone.

Thoughts of you  have been flooding my mind , like it does religiously this time of year. 

I have no doubt that you’re safer wherever you are right now than if you were here with me so for that I’m grateful.

Rest assured, I will be back putting pen to paper or rather my fingers to this keyboard wishing you a very happy birthday in a few.

Rest well my special boy❤️❤️

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Happiness is a choice, let’s choose it.


Many women, people in fact, go through some sought of heart break. The kind that leaves you, at the time, with no other choice but to be guarded. Guardered where you love from a distance, where you put yourself out there but only show people what you want people to see. The smile, fiesty attitude. The bling, money, cars or IDGAF attitude. It leaves you guarded where, when folk get too close, you act out and do things to push em away…because of the fear of getting hurt or feeling that heart ache again.

I’ve recently made a decision to no longer let that very fear, strip me of the things that could possibly make me the happiest. I’ve made a decision to not let that fear control my life by controlling my decisions.


 The people or persons who have caused us that heart ache are out there living their lives, moving on, and we’re always the ones left putting the pieces of the puzzle together, alone. But that’s not such a bad thing. Because we’re victors not victims. We are built for come backs. (Can I get an Amen)

You see, pain is inevitable and demands to be felt. But even pain, makes for the best teacher. One learns that the quickest way out of pain, is through it. So take ya time and work through it. 

Question: Does the person who caused you any pain deserve to still control your life long after they’re gone? 

And I’m guessing youre answer will be HELL NAH, they’ve done enough! Yeah? 

Well that’s the answer I’m looking for because they shouldn’t have that privellage. . . They shouldn’t have the privellage of guaranteeing or smirking at the fact that you won’t let anybody too close because of the fear of getting hurt again. They shouldn’t have the privellage of thinking that they’re irreplaceable and that they would never have to deal with you actually moving on and being happy and inturn them losing you. If anything, they should be feeling all of the above more!

By living in the fear of being hurt again, you pretty much allowing them to keep that power. You allow them to have that control of not pursuing the things that make YOU happy.

Let this be the day that you start controlling what impact pain has on your life and not give pain the power to control what impact it has on you. 

Let this be the day that you go back to being the best version of yourself, the uneffed version, the version that wants to be loved and wants to love freely. The version that never compromised on anything that you did. 

Let this be the day that you face that fear and you tell that fear that it will no longer rule your life , that you’re boss and you’re in control. 

Know, that this will not guarentee that you won’t get hurt again, so let that not be the expectation but, choosing happiness and a fearless life may actually be the one shot you’ve been waiting for. What more do you have to lose? They’ve already stripped you of everything before. 


I never thought I’d be in this space, where I’d wear my heart on my sleeve again. Where I’d write poetry expressing my gratitude or actually introducing him to the people closest to me. But here I am, with no guarantee that the love I’ve recently found is going to last but I’m here, loving sincerely like I would before, writing that poetry and enjoying the happiness, the gratitude, the countless attempts of him showing me how special I am to him. I’m here ready to fight like I never had, to rewire all the eish in my head and heart. I’m here ready to give this love a fair chance, to compromise, communicate, and just to love with no condition. 

I’m present and opening up myself to the blessings the almighty has put before me. I’m here opening up my heart and my soul to the happiness and respect and love and joy and the peace that my soul deserves and if it’s doesn’t work out? I can Atleast say “hey, I gave the best of me and this too shall pass once the lesson that’s meant to be taught is learnt” 


My name is Tasneem, I’ve lived through abuse, the loss of loved ones through natural causes and murder. I’ve been cheated on and divorced and I’ve lost a child all by the tender age of 23 but that doesn’t define me. 

What defines me is that I am also flaw filled, a reciprocater of love and light. I have enough of the right kind of love to go around the world and back and I am not ashamed of it. I am loyal, I have goals, I love God. What defines me is the person I’ve become because of the hurt and the pain and the fear that I once felt. 

I choose happiness, I choose peace, I choose power.

Happiness is a choice, go on now and choose it.