Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

Hello 2017

First post for 2017! Shukr Allah for yet another year! Loads happened in 2016 and I’m sure you have loads planned for the year to come. 

It’s 01:17 and I’m sitting outside, barefoot and on the floor. But guess what? I wouldn’t have it any other way! We ( my folks, lamia and her kids)  braaied, busted crackers, laughed , listened to music ,gave thanks to God, wrote our dear johns and chilled. Yes, blessings on blessings.

Hope you guys are having an amazing , meaningful start to the new year as well. Blank page for 2017, let’s write an amazing story❤️

Love and well wishes from just an ordinary girl xx 

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Messages dear to my ❤

These are some of the responses I received when I shared my gratitude. See why I say my friends are better than yours 😃and you know I mean that in the sincerest of ways. Thanks you guys Gawsh yourl are amazing! 

From Steph- my day one chick

From Lu_ my best friend in law and one of my besties 

I think my 2017 best wishes needed to be done personally so here I go……..I remember the first time I met you, I was so intimidated by your beauty and brains. You had a soft side to you that iv never seen in anyone but at the same time I saw a steong person in you. Yes we have had our ups and down and we probably will still have our pity fights lol. But I don’t regret the day I met you foe anything. Thank you for understanding me, iv met so many ppl in my life that just don’t get me and you do!. Thank you for being there for me. Sometimes it might have seemed little to you but to me it meant a hole lot. I hold you very dear to my heart not just because you’ve been there for me but because you inspire me, you motivate me, you light up something in me I never knew I had. They say surround yourself with people who inspire you and you will be inspired and sure enough you have done that. You gave me a mom and dad as well, il never ever forget how they were there for us in newlands when we had no one. (Ay the tears are coming). This message is so long overdue!!!!! You are such an amazing women tazz I tell you that all the time but I need you to understand it. I love you from the bottom of my heart and when I thank God for what his blessed me with at night I now add you in my list of thanks. May 2017 be the best year of your life. Here’s to more fun times, here’s to more girls nights, here to us celebrating each others achievements, here’s to you finding someone who love you unconditionally the way you love everyone around you. You deserve all that life has to offer. I look forward to the best of friendship still to come😘😘😘😘😘


From My crazy Amy ❤aka my dancing queen


From Caro ♥- one of the wisest, out the box people I know


From my nay nay pops♥


From Zuleka ♥


My trishy pooh-the purest one of all ♥


From my Nikki♥


From my Jaci _ the humblest celebrity around ♥


From my sissy♥_ the beauty she is!


From Chan ♥- one of the realest, most supportive outchea


From Monz- one of the strongest ladies I know


More from Monz ♥


From Ameen ♥one of the hardest working folk in these streets


From Cher ♥ one of the funniest chikas around


From Naazy_ always speaking life into others ♥


From shade – the talented one of us all
My bern ♥


My prudy♥_ one of the realest women on this earth
My desire ♥
My Pautia♥_ the sweetest girl around

These messages mean the world to me! 

Thank you all for your kind words , posted here so when I reflect back on my blog and life itself, I will be reminded of just how blessed I am! 

Girl power, Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

If you know me, you know that I thrive on authentic connections and moments in life. 

I believe in the little things; showing appreciation, saying thank you when somebody does something nice, smiling , lending a helping hand, ear or shoulder. Thank kinda thing. I also believe the world is lacking that and so I’ve made a conscious effort to do more of all of those things. 

I already started sending out my Messages of gratitude, nice and early before networks get jammed. 

The amazing thing with each message I sent back was an even more amazing response! This speaks volumes and validates what amazing connections I have with the people in my life. 

Know that I appreciate every single one of you. For always being ever ready to listen to me and Gawsh we know I can speak a lot! For encouraging me, supporting me, accepting me and my flaws, accommodating me at my lowest and highest moments. For Sharing your thoughts and advice, for never judging me even when I make the wrong choices or decisions. The list can go on for all the things I’m grateful for.

What a beautiful way to end 2016, spreading words of encouragement, well wishes and thank you’s to those who mean the most us? So I’m just gonna end this post with two words: 

THANK YOU and I love you all

…ok maybe that wasn’t two but oh well😁💋

A heartfelt gratitude from just an ordinary girl 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Here’s to something new 💋

And so it is literally the final hours of 2016. How are you going to end the year off? Anything different from the previous years? Or rather, how are you going to start your New Year off. 

I’ve  never been one to party on New Years, solely because I can’t do crowded places with people who let alcohol consume their entirety including their logic. So it’s always been “sleep through the countdown and all” and wake up on New Years with a positive outlook and then just spend the day as normal. 

I guess it isn’t all that bad but something within me feels like I need change. I need to plot goals. Put a start to all the things my heart desires. Part of me feels like I’ve been inadequate and perhaps I just need to “lighten” up abit. 

New Year’s is a symbolic chance for change; a new beginning, new thought process, new outlook on life, new resolutions etc. In all honesty,  I’m yet to accomplish all of my resolutions I set out at the beginning of any year. #busted. I’ve achieved some and it felt great but I want to achieve it all.

This year I’m making a conscious effort to do something different and more meaningful. Something that I will remember. This year, at 00:00 I will be lighting a sky lantern, attaching to it a list of things that I am letting go of in order to make space for new achievements. I will be spending this new year with close friends and family in a back yard with the kids. 

I have rearranged my room and have put some effort into making it look “pretty”. 

I am starting my Banting lifestyle. I am reading more and I will sit and plan out all the projects I’m taking on and what’s needed from me. I’m setting new religious goals and wanting to get closer to the almighty, wear my scarf more, pray more, practice good faith, and love unconditionally.

It’s been no doubt one heck of a year. Work overload, weight issues, ex husband and his wife drama, A visit to my sons grave after 3 years. Personally, I think it’s a year where I got to do and express things that I never got the chance to in the past. Ive lost a lot of people but have gained such an amazing few. 2016 has confirmed, in the midst of its chaos, who my real friends are and there is no better feeling knowing people care for you sincerely! 

So use these last few hours, in a sober state, to reflect on what physical changes you’re going to make in the New year and do those very things. 

They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. I concur. 

So let’s be the change, physically! 

Some advice and random thoughts of change from just an ordinary girl. 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration

Lessons of 2016

Let me share something with ya:
What people think about you is none of your business… I say this because when folk intend on disliking you, nothing you ever do will be enough, they’re gonna keep disliking you for their own reasons no matter what you do. It’s not about you, it’s about their insecurities so don’t lose sleep over it! 

We live in messed up times, people thrive on negativity, darkness and scandal. Everything fair no longer exists. Everything real is becoming extinct. Relationships are all for titles and social media posts or hashtags. Rumors spread wilder than world peace. We focus more on our eye brows being on fleek or the length of our weave than our fellow human beings who don’t even know when or where their next meal is coming from. We live is superficial times. We live in scary times. We live in messed up times indeed.

I say : Hold your head up high, live, learn and laugh through it all and remain ray Charles to the BS. keep growing and bettering yourself. When God is at the center of your world , you find that you will always strive to do the right thing even when or if you fail at times. 

Don’t mime people, how you react to a situation will say a lot about you. Not every interaction needs a reaction. You don’t have to do to others what they do to you. Smile. wave and kill them with kindness or just be still…it will make em go insane.

Learn to self validate so you don’t need others to do it for you. Learn to love yourself so you won’t be phased by those who make an effort to run you down. Irrelevant folk don’t deserve any power over you. 

So shine bright like the diamond that you are because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. It should always be between you and God, eff what the haters say. As I always say, a queen never leaves her throne to address peasants throwing stones 😎 and neither does a king. 

Deuces to all the she devils thinking they know your struggle or story. Tell em to Keep talking now!

And salute to the realist team; family and friends who know our stories, struggles and flaws and who still love us anyway. 👊🏼

Some advice from just an ordinary human being. 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

♥ My friends are better than yours ♥

My mother always told me to choose my friends wisely. Growing up I never understood why and would often get so angry when she’d tell me she didn’t like some of the people’s I’d be chilling with. 

But what an important lesson! I think one that every parent should teach their kids. 

They say that you are who you hang around with. That makes me loyal, kind, real, honest, goal orientated, God fearing, cray cray, imperfect, and gosh the list can go on. I’m all of the above because the people in my circle are all of the above. 

In a life where I tend to get a lot of things messed up and wrong, I can safely say that God has my back because he blessed me with the best friends ever. Friends who encourage me to be me all the time, friends who lead me towards God, who accept my flaws and help me embrace it. Friends who keep it real with me all the time and who are not afraid to tell me when I’m wrong. Friends who will literally sacrifice anything to be there for me. Friends who will encourage my cray cray when need be, who will literally dance in the rain with me without me even asking.  God if ever I am ungrateful, I am so sorry!

What more can a woman possibly ask for, Knowing that no matter what life has in store for me, I have friends who I know will be there with me every step of the way. Speak about blessings on blessing. 

To my peoples, you know who you all are. My circle may be small but really it is all that I need. 

 Thank you so much for everything you guys do for me and without me even saying, you guys always just know what to do or say to make me snap out of shit and get back to reality! I appreciate each and every single one of you and how you guys never allow me to settle or lower my standards or even when I do, how you guys never judge me for it, how you guys never allow me to wallow in my sorrows. You guys just rock awesome. It’s amazing how we are all becoming connected because we are all so alike. Making the circle beeeegar lol.

May the almighty bless you all and put the means in me to shed a brighter light in yourls lives! 

I love you all. And to my parents, I will forever be grateful to you guys for the morals and values instilled in me. To my creator, time and time again I have failed you but your love and mercy is so bountiful, because you keep showing me just how blessed I am in every situation where it would seem I’m at a loss. 

So as we get ready to end this year, mine will end off with gratitude and me being Ray Charles to all the other BS.

A heartfelt thank you from just an ordinary friend. ❤❤❤

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

And just like that, it’s all over 

Yeap…. road trip done and dusted. Where did time go???

For someone who is ALWAYS talking, no amount of words can express my gratitude towards everybody who showed their support this weekend. Thank you guys for the calls, messages, duas and words of encouragement. May the almighty bless you all abundantly.


So I should put on record that this was my first time driving long distance. Let’s just say that I will do it again. Ramon and lucille , you guys have been such good company and a huge pillar of support. I enjoyed every sing-a-along , every game and every word of our conversation. A bonding session that was much needed and greatly enjoyed! You guys are my ray of sunshine. I’m am so privelleged to have you as a bestie Ramon and also to have gained another bestie through your marriage to Lucille. I love you guys. 

Mika’ils grave visits 

What an emotional experience 😭💔Ramon, Lucille and Lori… you guys…! thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there and being present. You guys are the definition of friendship and support. From walking the Avalon graveyard searching for Miks grave to cleaning his grave and planting flowers, to leaving yourls glasses to let him know his aunts were there and literally for catching me when I was falling to my lowest. I could not have asked for more. The almighty really keeps showing me just how blessed I am. 

Got to see my boy and felt a ray of emotions, from heart ache to guilt , to pain, to emptiness to relief, I felt it all. I still don’t understand why he was taken away from me but I trust the almightys reasons. 

Our stay

Odessa and Lori, this one is for you two specifically. Lori , thank you so much for going out of your way to take us around. Nobody else would have been up with us and ready to be on the move even before we wake up lol. For giving us your time and for just being so darn awesome ! For the crazy moments, raps, #Q20, #stroke and #dori, Thank you. 

Odessa, you are a gem. You opened your home to us and it really did feel like home. Thank you so much for making everything so comfortable for us. Your kids and your sister are just something else. My life is based on authentic connections and iv gained another this weekend. Can’t wait to see you both again. 

Faizel, thank you for offering your home to us and for keeping Ramon so we could have girl time. Much appreciated. 

Gold reef city 

If you know me, you would know I l love rides and doing fun things.

Our GRC trip was amaze balls! Even although we got burnt, it was so worth the trip. Thanks again you guys for arranging this trip to make me feel better after the visit to miks grave. 

Lucille and Lori, thank you girls for my amazing gift! You girls know just how I value sentimental things like this. 

I love all of you guys and I really appreciate everybody who sent messages, who called , prayed and wished me well. My boy and I are so lucky to have you all. 

Lastly but most importantly, shukr  Allah for granting me the opportunity to go and see my boy. I make shukr for your traveling mercies because it is only through your will that we went and that we returned safely. 

Some last random pics from our trip

Loads of gratitude from just an ordinary girl. 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Dear Mika’il,

Mummy is getting ready to visit your grave. Yeap, it’s finally happening.

Im looking forward to the trip but I am so anxious, almost as though I’m going to be assessed for some huge , dream-come true opportunity that my life depends on. Yeap, that’s the impact you have on my life even without you physically being here.

It hurts me when nobody remembers you or your birthday because you are somebody worth remembering but know that the love I have for you is more than any amount of human love put together on this earth. 

I can’t promise you that I’m not going to cry boy, and I am sorry that iv never visited your grave. I almost feel guilty because it’s almost 3 years since I’ve last been. 

Just know that mummy has been workin on herself and trying to build herself up again, you are always in my thoughts, hearts and prayer and I hope that wherever you are, you get to know this. 

I look forward to traveling, knowing that the trip is all for you. I look forward to talking to you and to cleaning your grave, as though I’m getting you all ready for some great outing lol. I hope that you like your little 🚗 that I’m going to leave for you. I’m not sure if doing that is even a thing because I don’t know how to deal with all of this. But just know that it is all for you. 

I’m gonna wipe my tears away now and embrace my journey. Ma and Pa and your aunties says to tell you that they think of you daily and that they love you, I will tell you when I’m there also. 

See you soon boytjie, so many people are here for mummy that I just had to share all of the love, joy and support you bring to me.


Your mummy Xx

An anxious post from just an ordinary mum 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

 50 shades of messed up…

I’m hurt, I’m angry, I’m anxious, I’m unsettled, I’m hopeless, I’m mad, I’m sad. I’m empty, I’m undeserving, I’m failing, I’m falling, I’m crushing, I’m stuck, I’m needing, I’m wanting. 

Then I’m happy, I’m hopeful, positive, I’m optimistic, I’m full, I’m enough , I’m learning, I’m progressing. I’m goaling, I’m moving Forward. Does it make any sense?! These internal wars feel like they’re killing me softly. 

The confusion is making me go insane. How does it stop?  Isn’t it weird how one moment you can be at such peace and the next your world is turning upside down? 

I forgot how painful this is. I think I got so used to blocking things out that now that I need to deal with the reality of things, I feel like I’m at begin again just that this time It feels ten times worse AND i didn’t even get R200 for passing😏Talk about a lose lose sigh. 

Logic tells me one thing but then emotions sometime just gets the better of me.

Joys of being gullible and sentimental I suppose. I just need my head, heart and gut to all be aligned like they were. Why is it so hard.

Oh Allah, I need your help. Can you take over now! Is the end of this era anywhere near? 

Confusion of just an ordinary girl 

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Happy Birthday to my day one 

They say that a strong friendship doesn’t need conversation everyday. As long as the relationship stays in the heart, true friends will never grow apart. I look at our friendship and can definitely concur. 

Happy born day by beautiful sister friend. Today I wanna take a moment to express my gratitude towards you. I consider myself so lucky having you as a friend because whenever it mattered, you’ve always been there for me, encouraging me to do and be better, consoling me when I was literally falling apart. Being as sentimental as I am you know that just that means the world to me and more. 
Thank you Stephs for always being there, for always being real and sincere. In a world where everything is superficial and based on eyebrows and hair extensions, a friendship like ours seems foreign!l and impossible but here we are killing it! 

My wish for you, now and always, is for God be always be your number 1. May he bestow his mercy, blessings, favor and protection upon you and your life always. May you continue growing and striving like you have been and may we grow old together 😂Amen.

Never let anybody dull your sparkle my friend. So on your birthday, let us all celebrate you! Hope you have a day nearly as amazing as you are. 

Love you now and always

A birthday wish from just an ordinary friend