So there’s this young couple that stays close by, I often look @ them and each time I get reminded of my previous relation with my ex husband. There’s day he would walk her to school and you can tell by their body language that they would be having THE best conversations – and then there are days when they are fighting and you’re thinking to yourself ” why does she stay” their fights get pretty ugly especially for their age.
My ex husband and I could have the most weird, informative, serious, thought-provoking conversations. We had the ability to be each other’s besties but when we fought it always got ugly and not just ugly, ugly on steroids!
This young couple also lost their baby just that hers was at 5months.
What’s intriguing about the whole thing is that I feel as though the adult me is looking at the tween version of me. You can tell she loves him with her all and that’s why she will stay with him no matter what; I mean she’s still in school and has her WHOLE life ahead of her but her heart is set on this one… lol Gawsh I was just like this.
I’ve learnt now that the reason we tend to get so consumed is because we are looking for fulfillment, we are misconceived that this fulfillment can come from a partners love. I say that there is some truth in this but until you can fulfill yourself and until God is sufficient for you… one will always find themselves in these kinds of relationships; the type that is so good but tends to end up bad.
We often forget or maybe not taught or reminded enough, that in your tween years, you still learning yourself, how do we do that (learn ourselves) when we are more consumed with another person than we are ourselves?
When we do realize , it’s generally when we’re waaayyy older and then start looking to do things and be things that our tween self should have done or would have become or, we done married with kids and it seems it’s way too late to leave.
So the point I’m trying to make is that :
Remind your kids that they are still developing and finding themselves, and try as hard as you can to steer them in the direction of focusing on themselves and their goals before getting excited for “weekend with bae” or “baecation” posts.
You will never get these years back, whilst having a partner isn’t at all bad, don’t let it be your be all and end all. Focus on you, your likes, dislikes, goals, travel! Get to know yourselves first in order to be THE best significant other to the one who you will claim to love.
You don’t need bae now! You need yourself and you need God… let them find you when you are grounded with a clear vision of who and what you are and when you are THE BEST version of yourself … it would really be a shame to waste a relationship because you outgrew each other.