In a world where everything is spiraling out of control, the one thing we need to keep is our dignity and and real connections.
When I was going through my divorce, I often heard the 80/20 rule philosophy. I didn’t quite understand it until recently.
What I can definitely say is that I was under the impression that this philosophy only applied to boyfriend&girlfriend/husband&wife relationships…And how wrong was I.
This philosophy can pretty much apply to ANY relationship and I fell victim, no, wait! Not victim because I AM a VICTOR, I’ll rather say that I experienced this both in a husband&wife relationship but also in relationships out side of this relation.
Just to touch base, the 80/20 rule in relationships is as below:
“It is the belief that in a relationship, you’ll never get 100% of what you want, so at most you get 80%. But some other person may come along and have that missing 20% you don’t have. Some folks fall for the 20% just to realize they should’ve stayed with their original 80%.”
When you witness being “replaced” for a lack of a better word, it is emotionally draining. One literally feels lower than the scum of the earth itself and your mind just keeps running marathons. You and self have endless conversations about everything but find resolution to not a thing.
What I’ve learnt through my experiences though, is that if anything is meant to be, it will be so Let them go and let God!
He found his “2-slice” chick or his ” Betty with the good hair” and they found their ” fun friends” who just ” go with the flow” ? Good on them. One thing to never do is compromise who you are to make them want to stay. It’s a mistake we often make in hope of mending our relationships.
If he or anybody can’t accept you for who you are, flaws and all, then I guess they really don’t deserve you and are actually doing you a favor by leaving.
Sure they may find fault and judge and point out all of your flaws and sure they will remind you about all the things YOU need to change and give their 101 excuses, take it like water off a ducks back, pray, change the things that can be changed and pray for wisdom to accept the things that can’t … I guess they do all of that to make themselves feel better?
Whilst I’m still yet to find out if they really do regret choosing the 20%’s, I’ve learnt to love myself unconditionally in the interim. God made no mistakes when he made me.
So, in a nutshell:
- Keep your dignity and love yourself, and
- Treasure the people who tolerate you day in and day out and love you even on your worse day… it’s very rare to find such these days for: