Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Weight, what?

For the longest time I’ve hated my body, you would rarely find full-body pics of me uploaded on social media. If ever you’ve had a weight struggle you would understand why. 

How I feel about my weight can be compared to that of a stone stuck in your shoe; the most  Irritating, agonizing feeling ever. I have certain medical issues which make my weight loss a lot harder but I believe it’s no excuse.I really can’t explain It but one would think that I would wanna do something to change this especially because it worries me so much…but for the longest time I’ve been putting getting healthier off. 

In this  journey of me getting to know myself and learning to love myself unconditionally, I understand now that I need to accept myself. Only once I do this will I be able to constructively work towards any changes that I desire. 


 It baffles me that I am successful in every other aspect of my life ( by the permission and Grace of The Almighty) but my weight has always been a struggle, I think it’s because food has always been my comfort, my safety net. 


I also now understand that before I can love somebody else unconditionally, I need to love myself and in order to love and value myself, I need to be somebody that I am proud of before I can be anybody else’s pride. 


I am happy to say that I am learning to accept myself and am looking forward to being the best version of me, the version that I will be proud of.

This journey of self reconstruction is by far, the most fulfilling yet complicated journey that I’ve ever been on. I once thought my journey of forgiveness was the hardest lol but I take that back.

Here’s to the modest,more religious, kind, God_fearing, ambitious, future me. 

If I can do it, I know you can too! 

Posted by just an ordinary over-weight girl. 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

You don’t need bae

So there’s this young couple that stays close by, I often look @ them and each time I get reminded of my previous relation with my ex husband. There’s day he would walk her to school and you can tell by their body language that they would be having THE best conversations – and then there are days when they are fighting and you’re thinking to yourself ” why does she stay” their fights get pretty ugly especially for their age. 

My ex husband and I could have the most weird, informative, serious, thought-provoking conversations. We had the ability to be each other’s besties but when we fought it always got ugly and not just ugly, ugly on steroids! 

This young couple also lost their baby just that hers was at 5months. 

What’s intriguing about the whole thing is that I feel as though the adult me is looking at the tween version of me. You can tell she loves him with her all and that’s why she will stay with him no matter what; I mean she’s still in school and has her WHOLE life ahead of her but her heart is set on this one… lol Gawsh I was just like this.

I’ve learnt now that the reason we tend to get so consumed is because we are looking for fulfillment, we are misconceived that this fulfillment can come from a partners love. I say that there is some truth in this but until you can fulfill yourself and until God is sufficient for you… one will always find themselves in these kinds of relationships; the type that is so good but tends to end up bad.

We often forget or maybe not taught or reminded enough, that in your tween years, you still learning yourself, how do we do that (learn ourselves)  when we are more consumed with another person than we are ourselves? 

When we do realize , it’s generally when we’re waaayyy older and then start looking to do things and be things that our tween self should have done or would have become or, we done married with kids and it seems it’s way too late to leave. 

So the point I’m trying to make is that : 

Parents:

Remind your kids that they are still developing and finding themselves, and try as hard as you can to steer them in the direction of focusing on themselves and their goals before getting excited for “weekend with bae” or “baecation” posts. 

Tweenies: 

You will never get these years back, whilst having a partner isn’t at all bad, don’t let it be your be all and end all. Focus on you, your likes, dislikes, goals, travel! Get to know yourselves first in order to be THE best significant other to the one who you will claim to love.


You don’t need bae now! You need yourself and you need God… let them find you when you are grounded with a clear vision of who and what you are and when you are THE BEST version of yourself … it would really be a shame to waste a relationship because you outgrew each other.


They say us women are excellent at multitasking, but trying to know and love and be everything for another person and yourself can be alil tough and daunting. 


Some observations from an ordinary young adult xx

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

Getting to see my baby🙏🏼☝️️

Ever since Mika’il has passed on, I’ve only been to his grave site once. Yeah yeah you can call me a bad mum, sometimes I feel as though I am.

Mika’il is buried in JHB and I’m in DBN, it’s no excuse but I sometimes use that as an excuse to tell myself it’s ok if I don’t go. I think I really just am scared to break down all over again. 

I’ve finally started preparing to see my boytjie.  I’m gonna be road tripping to JHB and will be going to see my baby. I’m hoping that it will be a lot less emotional than the previous time I went. 

I’m nervous but almost excited, gonna get to see my bubas grave, water it, clean it, make dua for him in just #52 days and counting. 

Ya Allah, you be my strength❤️


Posted by just an ordinary mum. 

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

80/20

In a world where everything is spiraling out of control, the one thing we need to keep is our dignity and and real connections. 

When I was going through my divorce, I often heard the 80/20 rule philosophy. I didn’t quite understand it until recently. 

What I can definitely say is that I was under the impression that this philosophy only applied to boyfriend&girlfriend/husband&wife relationships…And how wrong was I. 

This philosophy can pretty much apply to ANY relationship and I fell victim, no, wait! Not victim because I AM a VICTOR, I’ll rather say that I experienced this both in a husband&wife relationship but also in relationships out side of this relation. 

Just to touch base, the 80/20 rule in relationships is as below: 

“It is the  belief that in a relationship, you’ll never get 100% of what you want, so at most you get 80%. But some other person may come along and have that missing 20% you don’t have. Some folks fall for the 20% just to realize they should’ve stayed with their original 80%.”

When you witness being “replaced” for a lack of a better word, it is emotionally draining. One literally feels lower than the scum of the earth itself and your mind just keeps running marathons. You and self have endless conversations about everything but find resolution to not a thing. 

 What I’ve learnt through my experiences though, is that if anything is meant to be, it will be so Let them go and let God! 

He found his “2-slice” chick or his ” Betty with the good hair” and they found their ” fun friends” who just ” go with the flow” ? Good on them. One thing to never do is compromise who you are to make them want to stay. It’s a mistake we often make in hope of mending our relationships. 

If he or anybody can’t accept you for who you are, flaws and all, then  I guess they really don’t deserve you and are actually doing you a favor by leaving.

Sure they may find fault and judge and point out all of your flaws and sure they will remind you about all the things YOU need to change and give their 101 excuses, take it like water off a ducks back, pray, change the things that can be changed and pray for wisdom to accept the things that can’t … I guess they do all of that  to make themselves feel better? 

Whilst I’m still yet to find out if they really do regret choosing the 20%’s, I’ve learnt to love myself unconditionally in the interim. God made no mistakes when he made me.

So, in a nutshell:

  • Keep your dignity and love yourself, and
  • Treasure the people who tolerate you day in and day out and love you even on your worse day… it’s very rare to find such these days for:


Posted by just an ordinary girl.

Love, life & everything's else in between, motivation and inspiration, personal

Are you trying to be like the world?

Absolutely! 

Whilst our world is leading to a point of no morals,values, ethics or beliefs it is important for us to find our own identity and stand tall and grounded. As time goes on, doesn’t it seem like this gets so much harder to do. 

We live in a world quick to critisize you when you don’t do what it wants you to do. You are deemed as less or non worthy or cool in the eyes of those who measure their successes in others. 

It’s quiet sad if you ask me but that’s all I’m going to say about it because personally I’m trying to stay in my own lane.

What I do believe though is that Nobody’s going to remember you if your sole purpose is to be like somebody else ; doing what they do, wearing what they wear, speaking how they speak, believing in what they believe or even driving what they drive and just cause! 

I think the most attractive and strongest people are those who remain true to themselves even when the world tells them they’re crap or not worthy; who are comfortable in their own skin even when the world sees but doesn’t acknowledge their sparkle and those who measure their successes on where they were yesterday and doesn’t see life as competition or race. 

Religion is important, morals, values, modesty and ethics is important! And it is okay if you don’t fit in…it means you’re doing something right.

Go out there and be the best version of yourself. You are BeYOUtiful, you are YOUnique and you are worthy! There is only one you…rock it 😎

Love, life & everything's else in between, personal

I’m expecting…


I’m expecting you and those close to me to mind your own business.
A few days ago a few friends and I were having a general conversation.  One of the topics of discussion was how society is quick to mind other people’s business and well tonight I fell victim to that.

” When are  you getting married?” 

” Do you have a boyfriend” 

“When are you having a baby?” 

” Time is running out…”

Lol…why thank you for watching my ovaries! #not

How often have you been asked these? And how often do you think to yourself ” well that’s a very personal question to ask” … Don’t know about you but for me it’s happened  way waaaay too often.

I personally think that these questions are so insensitive as in most cases, the people asking are often folk not close to you. 

Who says it’s okay to be asking such? How do we know that that very question is not an emotional trigger for the person we’re asking…?

 Has it ever occurred to you that if a person wanted a boyfriend, baby or to get married they would have by now and that there’s probably personal barriers not allowing them to do so?? 

Moral of the story is that we don’t know what other people go through and what may seem ok for us to ask, actually isn’t when you want to be asking things of personal nature. 

Think of others before wanting to feed your curiosity. It is rude and insensitive. If you really wanna know how a person is doing, ask them and wait for them to share your their personal stories with you. 

It really does put an immense amount of unnecessary pressure on the person you’re asking as in most cases they are not pregnant, married or in a relationship for a reason! Or… Maybe they just not ready and don’t need you or anybody make them feel less of a person because they aren’t. 

So let’s be merry, mind our own business and stop being forward.

Ok, now I can breathe and enjoy the rest of my Tuesday evening.

Posted by just an ordinary girl