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Day 18 : 30 Day Blog Challenge

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What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive ?

My Ex husband for having the affair.

It was difficult because at the time all i wanted was for him to feel what I went through. The pain.  The lack of support. The feeling of being cheated on. I mean your self – worth literally drags on the floor, no matter how strong you are and as women, the fact that all the people who wanted to see it fail now being satisfied … kills us even more especially when the affair is with one of his Ex’s.

For a long time I walked around with a heavy heart. A dark 1…and I remember not healing and I couldn’t understand why. I mean he moved on so quickly. I remeber my Mar Una telling me that for my own peace I had to forgive him. My religion teaches me that also. It was the hardest thing…the most challenging thing.

I would literally have to force myself and make a conscious effort not to bad – mouth him or curse him. I had to pray and pray and ask God to remove the bitterness and ill feelings i had towards him and replace it with peace. When all i wanted to see was the scum of the earth when I looked at him , I forced myself to reason and understand that all things happen by God’s grace even although I know that God does not condone cheating.

I’m in a much better place. A place of love and maturity. A place to move on because I have let go and have forgiven….to a point where I didn’t even need his apology that previously I so desperately wanted but how God works…I didn’t get an ” I’m sorry ” I got a sincere apology and at that time being able to honestly tell him ” I have forgiven you”… #ThePeace

Tedious 2 years. But I got here and for anybody else who is struggling with forgiveness….its work in progress. The devil don’t like what you are intending on doing. He loves darkness to fester and so he’s gonna make it harder but u keep at it. If I could do it…so can you:)

I’m in a relationship now with an amazing soul. . .and ready to give it my all like I did then. Posting here reminds me just how imperfect I am and that everybody comes with their own flaws…I am lucky to have cliqued with someone who can tolerate mine thus far and I’m learning to tolerate his( Thanks Bae) …time tells all but in the mean time, tay will be telling too 😉

Posted from Just an ordinary girl

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2 thoughts on “Day 18 : 30 Day Blog Challenge”

  1. The Amount of spiritual and emotional freedom felt once ur able to forgive without getting that apology is the key to mending the pieces of your broken heart..I have bin there and probably still work in progress to ever place my hundred percent trust on another male apart frm my dad..

    Like

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